People's Exhibit 195S & 196S
Recording Pt 1 Recording Pt 2 PDF
010603 ─ 2329 02-142591
RECORDED PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN AMBER FREY AND SCOTT PETERSON: (January 6, 2003 at 2329 hours)
Page 1 of 61
FREY: Hello?
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: I’m here. I can hear you just fine.
PETERSON: Okay. Thank you for answering.
FREY: Well, I’m a little bit fumed right now.
PETERSON: You should be.
FREY: Are you driving?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: So where are you right now?
PETERSON: I’m in Modesto right now.
PETERSON: I’m helping in the search.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Yeah. I’ve been putting out fliers and helping with the search.
FREY: Again, so why did you follow through or go ahead and meet me and have this date and…and…and do all these things with me and tell me all these things? Why? What purpose did I serve in your life during this last month?
PETERSON: Amber, you are…you changed me this last month. You have…you know, you are so special, you’re amazing. And I just…
FREY: And so what…are you telling me your wife was not?
Page 2 of 61 -- January 6, 2003 at 11:29 p.m., People’s 195S
PETERSON: I…I cannot explain it all to you now.
FREY: Yeah. There’s a lot of things you’re not wanting to explain to me right now, Scott.
PETERSON: No. I want to, but I can’t.
FREY: You want to but you can’t because why?
PETERSON: Too many people would be hurt.
FREY: Too many people are hurt now if you’re telling me this is international or national don’t you think?
PETERSON: Yeah, definitely.
FREY: So how is that…how is that gonna put any more hurt than what’s already out there now? How would you think this wouldn’t just break my heart to meet someone and if, you know, I even tell you where I’m at in my life and, you know, I’m getting my own business. I just moved out, I’m doing the chiropractic and, you know, I…what I’ve been through my life already to this day. You’ve very well aware of it, we’ve spent many times on the phone or even together and me talking about these things. How would you…how could you possibly not think you being married would affect me? How?
PETERSON: Uh…I don’t know how to answer that right. Um…I…God, I don’t want to say it again, but I mean you obviously don’t deserve this. I had no idea this was going to happen.
FREY: Sounded like you did.
PETERSON: I can’t…no, no, no, Amber, no.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: I know you can’t believe me and you should believe me but..
FREY: I should? I should believe you that no, you couldn’t have anything to do…
PETERSON: No, no, that’s not what I’m saying…
FREY: …with her disappearance? Is that what you’re telling me?
Page 3 of 61 -- January 6, 2003 at 11:29 p.m., People’s 195S
PETERSON: I had nothing to do. My God, Amber, I had nothing to with her disappearance.
FREY: Then who did?
PETERSON: We don’t have any ideas.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: There was a robbery here and, you know, there’s…they have…
FREY: You think a robber had something to do with her disappearance?
PETERSON: Across from the house where she disappeared there was a robbery that morning.
FREY: Uh-huh. And?
PETERSON: Well, obviously…
FREY: Well, robbers don’t steal people, pregnant people, for that.
PETERSON: I’m telling you the…the police, those are the leads they’ve indicated.
FREY: Oh, those are the only leads they’ve indicated?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Well, they’re not sharing anything with me.
FREY: They haven’t what?
PETERSON: They’re not sharing anything with me.
FREY: They’re not sharing what with you?
PETERSON: Any investigation except for the search.
FREY: Uh-huh.
PETERSON: I…
FREY: Unbelievable, Scott.
Page 4 of 61 -- January 6, 2003 at 11:29 p.m., People’s 195S
PETERSON: I know. All I can say is how sorry I am that you are being put through this.
FREY: You know what, I’ll give you a suggestion and a word of advice, never apologize to someone on the phone.
PETERSON: I should just have come down there tonight.
FREY: You’re gonna come down to my house tonight?
PETERSON: No, I should have been.
FREY: Really? And then what? You’re gonna come to my house and you’ve lied to me time and again.
PETERSON: Amber, no. Amber, no, no, I’m not coming to your house tonight. But what I’m saying is I wanted to do this in person.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: So you want everything in your time…in your time frame?
PETERSON: No..
FREY: No?
PETERSON: This time frame has not been…is not my choosing.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Really.
FREY: It’s just very coincidental, Scott.
PETERSON: My God, Amber, no.
FREY: You don’t think? Remember when I told you, you know, the night of that dance I said when I was…I came to you because I was upset because I said Shawn knew about this before me. You told me you hadn’t talked to her. You told Shawn that you had lost your wife. And again, what loss and sense are you speaking of?
PETERSON: Exactly.
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FREY: Exactly what?
PETERSON: That are there many types of loss.
FREY: Uh-huh. And what kind of loss was that?
PETERSON: Sweetie, I can’t tell you.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: I just…I…I can’t ask you to trust me, I can’t ask you to believe me. I just…I can’t tell you and I…I will be able to in the future if you’ll listen to me then, I don’t know if you will. I can’t ask you to do that.
FREY: You know the only thing that would ever make me or change my mind in any way is that she show and she…she is found alive or comes forward or whatever…
PETERSON: God, I hope she is found alive. We all hope she’s found alive. We’re all working for that.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: And you think that’s gonna happen.
PETERSON: God, I hope so.
FREY: Do you feel that she’s honestly going to be found alive?
PETERSON: I’ve been losing hope.
FREY: You’ve been losing hope?
PETERSON: For the last couple days.
FREY: Life does not lose hope. That hope…that hope never dies until she is found. And how can you call me and talk to me at night and…and sound so joyous and everything else while you’re going…that is…that is just beyond me…beyond me, Scott.
PETERSON: I know you…you won’t believe me, but I…at night…I haven’t slept in weeks.
Page 6 of 61 -- January 6, 2003 at 11:29 p.m., People’s 195S
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: And yes, I have put on a face to talk to you until I could tell you.
FREY: And when were you gonna tell me this, when you got back from Europe?
PETERSON: No, I wanted to come down there.
FREY: And tell me about your wife and everything else? This didn’t even have to come about, Scott. I don’t understand why…
PETERSON: I know, but she disappeared.
FREY: I don’t understand why you even developed anything with me and all these hopes or, you know, plans…futuristic plans together. I…I…I just…I…I…
PETERSON: I want tell you, I do. I so want to tell you.
FREY: You want to tell me what?
PETERSON: I want to tell you everything you need to know. Everything period.
FREY: Why then…so was it that you were just wanting to use me for…
PETERSON: No.
FREY: …for the time being because you had lost your wife in a sense that you weren’t uh…involved with her anymore because you say you’re faithful to me?
PETERSON: Amber.
FREY: You never cheated on me?
PETERSON: Amber.
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: I’m so sorry…so sorry that you’re involved in this.
FREY: Let me tell…let me say this one thing. Um…
PETERSON: Yeah.
Page 7 of 61 -- January 6, 2003 at 11:29 p.m., People’s 195S
FREY: Wasn’t it you that said I don’t want to ever have a reason to have to apologize for anything?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: And say I’m sorry?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: So why is it you have such a hard time with the truth?
PETERSON: I don’t think I do. But I lied to you and I hate myself for that.
FREY: You didn’t think you knew you lied to me?
PETERSON: No, no, no. I have always told you the truth.
FREY: Oh, really?
PETERSON: Let me…well, no, with exceptions obviously.
FREY: Oh, truth with exceptions huh? That’s a new one for my book.
PETERSON: I know, I don’t know how to phrase it, Amber. But know that everything I’ve ever said to you…
FREY: You’ve said to me about me, yeah. But everything that you said that portrayed it for you towards me, I can’t. How can I?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: No, there can’t be can there?
PETERSON: That’s not…that’s not correct either.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: But I lied to you about…about traveling, about where I am now.
FREY: Well, obviously…
PETERSON: And yes, I lied to you before that I hadn’t been married.
FREY: And that um…you don’t want to have children, that the only child you want or you could see us having is one and that would be my daughter, Ayianna?
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PETERSON: If we were together, yes.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: Yes? All along knowing you have a baby on the way. Explain that to me?
PETERSON: Sweetie, I can’t. I cannot tell you everything now.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: I can’t tell you everything now.
FREY: So tell me, Scott, since everything is in a timeline with you anyway, when can you tell me?
PETERSON: It’s not my timeline, Amber.
FREY: Whose timeline is it then?
PETERSON: It’s so imposed on me. It’s…
FREY: Yes, I’m listening!
PETERSON: I…I don’t know what to say. I mean I…we…we just…we can’t…
FREY: It’s just that would…that would be a start.
PETERSON: My God, I wish I could tell you everything, Amber.
FREY: Again…
PETERSON: I wish I could tell you everything (starting to cry)
FREY: Save your tears.
PETERSON: I’m so sorry.
FREY: So tell me why um…another…another question for you, Scott?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: Tell me why I should not be afraid of you after learning…?
Page 9 of 61 -- January 6, 2003 at 11:29 p.m., People’s 195S
PETERSON: I am not…I am not an evil person.
FREY: You’re not an evil person?
PETERSON: I am not. I would never hurt anyone.
FREY: Really? You would never hurt anyone?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: What are you doing to me right now? Do you think I’m drowning in daisies right now?
PETERSON: No, I know it, Amber, I know it. That’s why I’m so weak I…I…I don’t know what to say, Amber.
FREY: I don’t either.
PETERSON: I know I’m hurting you. I don’t want you to be hurt anymore. But I did commit a sin.
FREY: That you did what? That you did what? Hello?
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: Yes. That you did what?
PETERSON: I didn’t say anything, I lied to you. It’s a situation beyond our control.
FREY: Yes, you led me to believe…you led…you led me to believe that you’re such a great guy. Someone that uh…I could see as well as for you to be with and...and, you know, to enjoy life experiences together.
PETERSON: Do you think you’re completely wrong?
FREY: What?
PETERSON: Do you think you’re completely wrong about that?
FREY: Do I think I’m completely wrong about that?
PETERSON: About what you just said?
FREY: I…you know, you’ve lost me.
Page 10 of 61 -- January 6, 2003 at 11:29 p.m., People’s 195S
PETERSON: I know that I’ve lied to you.
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: And I, you know, and I destroyed everything so bad.
FREY: Do you know…?
PETERSON: This situation has…is so unbelievable and so painful.
FREY: Yes, and you didn’t expect this to be so big, is that what you just thought oh, well, no big deal, just another lost woman, it would just disappear and then you would…you would return…
PETERSON: Oh, my God though, this is a…
FREY: …you would return from Europe and you and I of course because you’ve talked about traveling…
PETERSON: Amber, never.
FREY: Oh, you didn’t…you didn’t plan on wanting to move away with me? Isn’t that what you were leading up to? And when you came back and returned, that you just hoped that I…I…I would put my trust in you and that you would…whatever decisions you were gonna make for Ayianna and I you were…would…that I…that I could say yes without question. Do remember that conversation because I remember it very clearly. That was just after I confronted you about Shawn’s knowing of your wife.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Yes. Where was that leading to?
PETERSON: I can’t tell you everything now. I’m so sorry.
FREY: I know, you’ve told me that time and time again.
PETERSON: I know, I don’t want to…I don’t want to say that again.
FREY: So then why don’t you just answer the question?
PETERSON: I can’t.
FREY: Don’t I deserve or at least…I mean at least that?
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PETERSON: Amber, you absolutely deserve that. You absolutely deserve that, you deserve so much more.
FREY: There’s a but in there somewhere isn’t there, Scott?
PETERSON: I can’t…I can’t right now.
FREY: You know what, I came to you with my friend Dave and you said…you said, “Oh, I’m afraid for you.” Should I feel that way now?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: So should I be afraid of you?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: But you’ve lied to me as well about something so big.
PETERSON: I lied to you, right.
FREY: Yes. But you feared for me with him.
PETERSON: I fear for your physical safety with him.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: Why?
FREY: Yes, why?
PETERSON: The guy has hurt a woman.
FREY: At least I wasn’t having a relationship with him. This was a strictly monoga…not even monogamous, this was nothing.
PETERSON: He has been physically abusive to a woman. You have to be careful of that.
FREY: Oh! But he was nobody I had a relationship with. You and I…according to you I’m your girlfriend, is that not correct?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: Do you still feel that way?
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PETERSON: I think that my lies probably destroyed that.
FREY: That your lies destroyed that? Okay, so how can you have a girlfriend uh…when you’re married?
PETERSON: Sweetie, you don’t understand everything. You don’t know everything.
FREY: Well, I have…I have…all I have is time. I…I…I can listen. I won’t say a word, I’m listening.
PETERSON: Amber are you there?
FREY: Yeah.
PETERSON: Okay. What did you say?
FREY: That I’m listening, just tell the truth.
PETERSON: I can’t. I want to.
FREY: What’s stopping you?
PETERSON: The situation’s stopping me.
FREY: The situation is stopping you?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: That makes no sense.
PETERSON: I’m sorry?
FREY: That doesn’t make sense to me, Scott.
PETERSON: Oh, Amber. It’s just…Amber?
FREY: I’m here. I’m listening.
PETERSON: Okay. Yeah, I thought I lost you. I…I can’t say anymore.
FREY: Well, it can’t get any worse.
PETERSON: True. It’s better than it is, than it sounds.
FREY: What’s better than it is?
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PETERSON: Well, the situation is terrible. Laci is missing.
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: We have been searching for two weeks for her and we have very little to go on.
FREY: When was her first date missing.
PETERSON: Um…Christmas Eve.
FREY: Really? Didn’t I talk to you on Christmas Eve?
PETERSON: I don’t know.
FREY: You don’t know? Weren’t you on a duck hunting trip with your dad?
PETERSON: I…I think so. That sounds right.
FREY: Really? You know…
PETERSON: And that was a lie when I talked to you and told you I was duck hunting.
FREY: Yeah, obviously.
PETERSON: Amber, I am so sorry that I lied to you.
FREY: Obviously you just caught yourself in it, right?
PETERSON: Sweetie…I’m sorry I said that again. Amber, I want to tell you everything.
FREY: Is everybody sweetie, is that why you said there’s only one person I call sweetie because it’s easy?
PETERSON: No, there’s only one.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: And I…no, I don’t…
FREY: Wouldn’t that be Laci, your pregnant wife that’s missing?
PETERSON: I don’t have the right to call you that anymore.
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FREY: No, you don’t. You never did I the first place.
PETERSON: I don’t think that’s true.
FREY: Really? Well, in the beginning, yeah, I was led to believe that to be true.
PETERSON: Amber, all I can say is I’m…I’m sorry that I lied to you. I want to explain the entire situation to you, but I can’t.
FREY: You can’t do it until after you get back from Europe, which is January 25th?
PETERSON: No, I’m not in Europe.
FREY: Yeah, I know obviously. So what’s the importance of January 25th,Scott?
PETERSON: It’s just a date I’ve picked, Amber.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: It’s just a date that I’ve picked.
FREY: Oh, just throw it out there so I had some futuristic hopes in seeing you soon. Uh…preferably not uh…on the news.
PETERSON: Uh…yeah.
FREY: So you’re telling me you didn’t have a plan for Laci to be missing?
PETERSON: Oh, my God, no.
FREY: Again, tell the coincidences of your stories as early as December?
PETERSON: Amber.
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: I can take all the media thinking I had something to do with this.
FREY: Yes.
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PETERSON: And every day people coming up to me who don’t know who I am when I’m out there passing out fliers and asking people and accusing me of having something to do with it and nothing hurts as much as you just…as that did. And I’m not blaming you.
FREY: What…
PETERSON: I’m just saying that you believing that I could have had something to do with this.
FREY: That hurts you more than your wife missing?
PETERSON: No, I didn’t say that. I said the people, the other people…
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: …who think I’m guilty, I can…I can handle that.
FREY: Oh, but…but from me you can’t handle that?
PETERSON: It hurts more from you…than you know.
FREY: I’m hurting more than you right now.
PETERSON: I know it.
FREY: (sigh) I need to get a glass of water. Can you hold please?
PETERSON: I will, of course.
FREY: Don’t hang up.
PETERSON: I won’t. (beep)
FREY: (beep) Are you there?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: (sigh) Unbelievable, Scott. Of all people in my life and come into my life and for me I’m so blinded and disillusioned. I…I…
PETERSON: Please don’t let my lies change you.
FREY: Hum?
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PETERSON: As…as little as you may not believe it, I know that you’re wonderful. I think you know you’re wonderful. Please don’t let my lies change who you are. Amber?
FREY: Yeah. So what…okay, Scott, tell me this. So what are you gonna do if she’s found and what…what…?
PETERSON: Say again?
FREY: I said what are you gonna do if she’s found?
PETERSON: I’m gonna find her.
FREY: You’re going to find her?
PETERSON: We’re gonna find her.
FREY: We are going to find her. Who’s we?
PETERSON: All the volunteers we have, all the police, all the family.
FREY: Okay, now, and then what’s going to happen to me? Then you’re just gonna oh, well, there’s my wife. Oh, God, I felt, you know, I lost her for so long I can’t lose her again and then you guys resolve your relationship what…I mean what’s your mindset there?
PETERSON: Sweetie, we can’t talk about this.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: So…
PETERSON: I’m sorry I said that again. Amber (sigh), you know, I mean we just can’t talk about this.
FREY: You can’t answer…you can’t answer that, okay so…
PETERSON: I want to. That doesn’t change anything does it? Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
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PETERSON: Okay. You know, the only thing is just I can say is, you know, I needed to tell you. I’m so sorry that it’s hurting you. My focus right now is, you know, working to find her and I want to explain everything to you, but I can’t in order to…for everyone…
FREY: For what?
PETERSON: For everyone.
FREY: Well, who’s everyone?
PETERSON: There are so many people involved in this. Her family, my family, friends, you know, everyone.
FREY: So where do you think you’re going to find Laci?
PETERSON: Our hope, and it’s a sad hope, is that…well, I mean we need a tip, that’s why we have such a big reward. And we just hope that someone is holding her for her child and that we can, you know, get her back with a tip.
FREY: So what…so you’re not elated that you’re having a baby?
PETERSON: Sweetie, we can’t talk about it.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: We can’t at this time.
FREY: When can we?
PETERSON: I don’t know.
FREY: There’s a lot of thing you don’t know, you can’t talk about.
PETERSON: I hope we find her and then we can talk about this.
FREY: Really? Now at this point if she’s found and she’s dead, can we still talk about it?
PETERSON: My God, don’t say that.
FREY: Isn’t that reality? Isn’t that reality of a missing person? Scott?
PETERSON: Yeah, I’m here.
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FREY: So tell me then if she’s found…
PETERSON: Don’t. Yeah.
FREY: So you have to look at both sides, right? You know God willing she’s found alive, but is that now, you know, there’s the other scenario, she may not be found alive and then what?
PETERSON: Don’t know that.
FREY: So then do you want to presume whatever it is in your head of a fantasy about you and I?
PETERSON: I don’t think…well, it…oh, my God if…if that happened…
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: Um…you know, all our questions are answered and then we can find the bastards that did it. And that’s the one resolution that is…
FREY: Okay, so now the other scen…
PETERSON: But then yes. But then I could tell you everything after something like that.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: Okay, so now tell me the scenario when she’s found alive? What then is gonna happen to me?
PETERSON: Then I could tell you everything.
FREY: So either scenario at this point, which one comes first at any point, then you could tell me everything?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: But right now you can’t?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: Interesting, Scott.
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PETERSON: Amber, you don’t know the media that has been around here and they…and I’m so sorry if they do. You know, when it happens you call me, Amber. The sooner I find out if…
FREY: What?
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
PETERSON: Okay.
FREY: And again, I’m listening, why can’t you tell me now? I want to know now.
PETERSON: I want to tell you now.
FREY: Then tell me now.
PETERSON: I can’t.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: There are too many people involved in this thing. They were all…
FREY: Scott, you still are not answering my question.
PETERSON: That is the answer. I’m so sorry, Amber.
FREY: Because let’s see, let’s read into this a little bit more, Scott. You can’t tell me now, but of course you couldn’t tell me then about your missing wife, or not your missing but that you lost your wife until you came back from Europe. Now everything has a delay. Is this for you to come up with something really good like your New Year’s resolution? It has to be really good?
PETERSON: And I deserve all that. Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
PETERSON: I can’t…I can’t give you any answers.
FREY: You can’t give me any answers because it’s not what, in your best interest?
PETERSON: It’s in no one’s best interest.
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FREY: It’s in no one’s best interest?
PETERSON: At this time.
FREY: At this time. But let’s see, further time involves a different story…
PETERSON: No.
FREY: And at that point it puts more perspective in other people’s interest aside from you own?
PETERSON: (sigh) Once…I don’t know how to say it. I mean I don’t know…I can’t…I can’t ask you. Like I said I can’t ask you to ever listen to me again.
FREY: Well, I’m listening.
PETERSON: I know it. And I wish I could tell you.
FREY: Uh…you could and you can.
PETERSON: I can’t.
FREY: Why can’t you?
PETERSON: You’ll…you’ll know why at the end of this.
FREY: Oh, I’ll know why at the end of this. When is the end of this, Scott?
PETERSON: The end of this is when we find her.
FREY: When you find her? And uh…that half a million dollar reward is still gonna be given after all this and what everybody’s had to go through, they’re still gonna be giving…that doesn’t make very much sense.
PETERSON: We put up half a million for her safe return, Amber.
FREY: For her safe return. Now what happens if her return is not safe, then what?
PETERSON: Well, I mean additionally we have a reward for information leading to find her.
FREY: Information leading to find her. Really?
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PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: (sigh) But your whole point of this European trip was so that you could have a life and not travel and not have to work so hard and you could have a life. But apparently not with…
PETERSON: The whole point of the business negotiations…
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: Amber, you don’t understand at all.
FREY: The whole point of what business negotiations, Scott?
PETERSON: Are to simplify my life.
FREY: To simplify your life?
PETERSON: That was…is what was supposed to take…going right…being done right now. This situation changed all that.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: And obviously I’m not working.
FREY: Your life would be simplified. If you have a present wife, a baby around the corner, and a girlfriend…how does that…?
PETERSON: You don’t understand.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: You don’t…you don’t know everything.
FREY: Well, I don’t know everything until you tell me everything.
PETERSON: I know and I want to, but I can’t. And I can’t ask you to want to hear from me. I can’t ask you to ever listen to me or trust me.
FREY: Okay, you keep saying I can’t right now, I can’t…
PETERSON: The only thing…
FREY: What is it…what is it or I mean are you feeling trapped that you can’t tell me?
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PETERSON: I’m sorry, say that again. You broke up.
FREY: Are you telling me that you’re trapped and you can’t tell me this? Because it makes no sense. Hurt’s already out there, Scott. Hurt’s right here on the other end of the line talking to you.
PETERSON: I know it so much. I know it so much, Amber. I’m so sorry for that. If you can come out…I mean there’s hurt from this end of the line that I did this to you. Hurt is on this end of the line also and I’m so sorry this situation has done this to us and to you.
FREY: You are?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: Hum!
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
PETERSON: I keep thinking I lose you. I don’t…I don’t know what to say, you know, except for what I’ve said. I’m so sorry.
FREY: What was your whole point of having me watch this Love Affair movie?
PETERSON: It’s a special movie to me.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: It’s a beautiful thing.
FREY: Why a Love Affair? Is that what I was, a love affair to you, Scott?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And that’s pretty much…
PETERSON: Maybe you can be.
FREY: Nothing more?
PETERSON: No, I don’t think of it like that. That movie’s not about a short-term love affair.
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FREY: Oh, what is it about then?
PETERSON: That is about a long-term caring relationship.
FREY: So when’s your baby due?
PETERSON: Um…February 16th is the last date.
FREY: February 16th?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Hum. Quite ironic all these February’s huh, birthdays? Mine, your baby’s, my daughter’s?.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: So you only want to have one child in which case assuming we’re together it would be Ayianna’s…and it would be your own when you had a child on the way. How can you say that?
PETERSON: Baby, you don’t know everything.
FREY: I know…
PETERSON: I’m sorry to…I want to tell you everything, I can’t. And I’m sorry I have to keep saying that, I am but…
FREY: So when? Again, Scott, is this baby yours?
PETERSON: I can’t…
FREY: What?
PETERSON: I keep calling you honey and sweetie and I know you don’t want me to do that.
FREY: So is this baby yours?
PETERSON: I cannot tell you everything.
FREY: You can’t tell me everything? That’s a simple yes or no.
PETERSON: Amber, honestly to protect everyone, I can’t tell you everything.
FREY: You know…
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PETERSON: I know you don’t…
FREY: That only leads me to believe to say that it’s not.
PETERSON: Amber…
FREY: Because if it was you’d say of course it’s my baby, that’s my wife.
PETERSON: Amber, I’m so sorry that I lied to you. We are doing everything we can to find her. And I am so sorry you are hurt by this and I don’t want to see you be involved when you don’t want to be.
FREY: How is that possible? Let’s see, I don’t want you to have to be involved. Say that again for me?
PETERSON: You can choose what you want to do.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Regarding this issue.
FREY: I can choose to choose what I want to do with this? I have a choice in this? Really?
PETERSON: I think so.
FREY: Really? And what would you like my choice to be, Scott?
PETERSON: You cannot listen to me.
FREY: I cannot listen to you?
PETERSON: And I would never ask you to. It’s completely your choice.
FREY: Wow! If your life’s not just a whirlwind and chaos and commotion and the choice of words that you’re throwing out there at me.
PETERSON: I’m sorry, I don’t understand?
FREY: Them maybe you should listen.
PETERSON: I’m trying, Amber. Say it again. Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
PETERSON: Okay.
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FREY: I can’t listen to you. Hum! So then…
PETERSON: Well, I can’t ask you to listen to me.
FREY: Well, you know what…
PETERSON: I’ve lied to you.
FREY: You’ve lied to me. So what, it’s done and so why don’t…
PETERSON: You should never trust me.
FREY: I should not trust you?
PETERSON: No, I’m saying I cannot ask you to ever trust me. I mean I know that…you know, I know that you can’t.
FREY: Okay, so again…
PETERSON: So I would never make an appeal to you to do so.
FREY: So uh…I’m gonna assume this, but I’m gonna ask this assuming I know what you’re talking about the questions to my answer. Who else knows about me, Scott?
PETERSON: That you and I have a relationship?
FREY: Do your parents know about me?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: Well, I thought that was the topic of conversation. Oh, I talked my parent’s ears off about you over the holidays.
PETERSON: Well, that trip didn’t happen.
FREY: Oh, that trip didn’t happen? You know, I…I’m led to believe and question about other things that had happened, Scott.
PETERSON: I understand that you can never trust me or believe me. I’m so sorry for that.
FREY: I…I…I have a hard time believing that, Scott.
PETERSON: I know. I know. I don’t know what…what to say. I mean…
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FREY: Well, so Scott…
PETERSON: I know you probably can’t even believe that I’m sorry that this has happened, that I lied to you.
FREY: I’m going to tell you again and this is worthy advice, never apologize to someone on the phone.
PETERSON: What should I have done?
FREY: What should you have done?
PETERSON: I mean I wanted to come down there.
FREY: But let’s…let’s back that up. You’re a 30-year old man. What should I have done?
PETERSON: I wanted to come down there, Amber.
FREY: A 30-year old man, married, with a baby on the way, assuming a new relationship with another woman.
PETERSON: Amber, I think the answers to my questions I should come down there.
FREY: Oh, you should have came down there and at that point shouldn’t I have been afraid of you had I caught wind of anything before then?
PETERSON: You have no reason to fear me.
FREY: I have no reason to fear you?
PETERSON: No. I think you know me well enough to know that.
FREY: If I knew you well enough I would have know you lied (inaudible) If I knew you well enough?
PETERSON: I would never hurt anybody. I know I hurt you by lying to you and I know the situation hurts you. You’ve got to know that physically I could never hurt anyone.
FREY: So what do you think all the people would think when…when I’m found out about.
PETERSON: What’s that?
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FREY: I said what do you think all the people are going to think when I’m found out about? I mean it’s bound to happen.
PETERSON: It’s your choice.
FREY: No. You know what, Scott, You say it’s my choice. I’m not the only one you showed your relationship with me to.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And how about I mean…right?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And you didn’t keep our relationship private?
PETERSON: No, I did not.
FREY: Am I right?
PETERSON: Yeah. Yep.
FREY: Didn’t Shawn tell you before, Scott how small a world we live in?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And did you not think they’d find out?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Yes?
PETERSON: No, I don’t know what I’m saying yes to right now.
FREY: Just saying yes to agree?
PETERSON: I’m saying yes, I remember when she told me it’s a small world.
FREY: So again, when she said…
PETERSON: And yes, it is a small world.
FREY: And again, when she said, “Amber has been through enough. If you’re not serious about having a relationship with her, please don’t call her.” Why did you call me?
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PETERSON: Yeah, I remember her saying that.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: I wish I could tell you everything now.
FREY: Oh, again, here we go back to I wish I could tell you everything.
PETERSON: I don’t have another answer than that.
FREY: Well, maybe if I give you a good day or so you’ll come up with something good, huh?
PETERSON: No. There’s no coming up with something good.
FREY: Oh!
PETERSON: There’s tell you the absolute truth.
FREY: But of course you just told me that you don’t…that I shouldn’t believe you.
PETERSON: No, I didn’t say that. I said I could never ask you…
FREY: You could never ask me to…
PETERSON: …to believe me.
FREY: But you’re gonna ask me to trust you?
PETERSON: But it will be the truth.
FREY: Now, that’s a contradiction.
PETERSON: Amber, I can never ask you to believe me.
FREY: Isn’t that a contradiction?
PETERSON: Almost.
FREY: Almost. What’s lacking?
PETERSON: Well, the difference is I know it’s the truth and I hope that you can see the truth.
FREY: Really?
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PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: So in…in this whole (sigh) in this whole mess of people in the search of Laci…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: …you’re doing everything you can? You’re putting up fliers and um…that’s it, your putting up fliers?
PETERSON: No, I’ve been going door to door.
FREY: Door to door?
PETERSON: Knocking on doors asking…
FREY: What do you expect to find from knocking on doors?
PETERSON: I don’t know where else to go. We have…we have a Volunteer Center set up here.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: And I go in and I open it up in the morning.
FREY: Uh-huh.
PETERSON: Volunteers come in and we direct them out into every city in Stanislaus County we’ve done…
FREY: Really. And so what were you doing…I mean were you doing it with, you know, in your conversations with me during the day and at night? I mean what was that? You’ve been calling…having conversations with me when all this is happening?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Really? Isn’t that a little…isn’t that a little twisted, Scott?
PETERSON: It is.
FREY: Well, at least you agree with me there.
PETERSON: Well, that’s the truth, isn’t it?
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FREY: You have a missing pregnant wife and you’re talking to your girlfriend? Hum! Hum! Did you think about that one?
PETERSON: It sounds terrible.
FREY: It sound terrible? Again, actions speak louder than words. And to these people…
PETERSON: When you know all the facts…
FREY: When I know all the facts and how am I gonna obtain all the facts, Scott, from you? Hum?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Really? At what point?
PETERSON: After some resolution to this.
FREY: When there’s some resolution in what?
PETERSON: That we find her.
FREY: That you will find her? Now, let me ask you your um…mindset on that um…and where do you truly, honestly from your heart believe she’s going to be found?
PETERSON: When I get up in the morning and I’m heading to the Volunteer Center…
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: …and the volunteers come through and we direct them to go out to different areas…
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: …and when I’m out there and we’re searching, you know, and we’re putting up fliers and we’re asking people door to door…
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: …I think that we will find her well and with her child. Well, when it’s 9:00 o’clock…
FREY: Uh-hum.
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PETERSON: …midnight, 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning…
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: …I begin to lose a little faith. And when the police tell us that it’s unlikely I begin to lose faith.
FREY: And again, Scott…
PETERSON: And then I get my faith back when I get to do something about it the next day.
FREY: Are you going to talk to me at night?
PETERSON: Sweetie, I have been calling you to try to speak to you obviously. And I told you it cheers me up.
FREY: I cheer you up?
PETERSON: And also to gain the courage to tell you about the situation.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: To find out when I can come down and you, you know, I could tell you about what happened.
FREY: Okay. So what happened when um…the Sunday I had my Christmas and you were in Sacramento calling me before you’re catching the plane to meet your parents in Maine? What about that Scott?
PETERSON: It sounds awfully twisted.
FREY: Doesn’t it though? Doesn’t it seem…?
PETERSON: But those times I needed to hear your voice.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: Positive energy, I guess.
FREY: Positive energy? At that time that was the 22nd and you said she was missing when?
PETERSON: The 24th.
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FREY: 24th? But you were already on your…you were getting ready to get on the plane that day?
PETERSON: Oh, oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were talking…
FREY: Oh, oh, oh! I remember because you called me before church and you were getting ready and I was upset because I told my family, I go you know, I wished you would have called me earlier because then he could have spent Christmas with us on Sunday.
PETERSON: Right, right.
FREY: Just delayed his flight. But instead he’s leaving to go to Maine today. So he’s probably about there by now because it was about 6:30, 7:00, or whatever at night. You never even told me that you didn’t go?
PETERSON: Amber, I thought you…yeah, I didn’t, you’re right.
FREY: That’s because it was a lie.
PETERSON: True.
FREY: True?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: So tell me, Scott…
PETERSON: I thought you meant after when I was lying to you about going to Europe.
FREY: No, you were lying to me about you even going to Maine. You said you had left on Sunday. What happened Sunday?
PETERSON: Nothing happened Sunday.
FREY: You said were calling from Sacramento?
PETERSON: I was at home. What was that?
FREY: You called me from Sacramento?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Yeah. What were you doing in Sacramento?
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PETERSON: Sweetie, that’s where I am. Not now, but Amber, my home.
FREY: You have a home in Sacramento?
PETERSON: Amber, I can’t tell you or I don’t want to go through that again.
FREY: How many other uh…of me are there?
PETERSON: There’s none.
FREY: Oh, really.
PETERSON: I know you don’t believe me, but there’s none.
FREY: What can I believe from you?
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: What can I believe from you? What was the conversation we had about truth and honesty?
PETERSON: I think…you see I think you can believe so much from me. But you…I know I can’t ask you to believe me so I, you know…
FREY: So…
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: Yeah. So would I even be safe to say okay, well, let’s see…and I now you’ve never said this, but you’ve indicated so many other things that I could assume uh…possibly that she’s missing because you love me, right?
PETERSON: Amber, she’s missing because someone abducted her.
FREY: Somebody abducted her?
PETERSON: That what we think happened.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Yeah. She would not run off.
FREY: Okay.
PETERSON: Someone took her.
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FREY: So I…I’m still such at a loss of where you…where I fit in to ever having a future with you, this future you speak of? That puzzles me and I’d like an answer.
PETERSON: Well, do you want me to say it again?
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: I can’t.
FREY: I’m sure it has something to do with her disappearance.
PETERSON: No. My God, no, please don’t…
FREY: You asking me please don’t…
PETERSON: Please don’t say that.
FREY: Then tell me different because at this point I have…
PETERSON: It is. I had nothing to do with her disappearance (starting to cry).
FREY: So why can’t you answer a question about you and I?
PETERSON: I can take that from anyone else but you.
FREY: You know what, I’ve already asked you this, save your tears. You can’t answer my questions with you and I, it has nothing to do with Laci. Well, apparently to some point maybe, but why can’t you answer a question about you and I? Hum?
PETERSON: It protects us if we don’t.
FREY: It what?
PETERSON: It protects us.
FREY: It protects…
PETERSON: You and I and everyone else in this.
FREY: It protects you and I for you not to indicate where you’re going with me?
PETERSON: Yes. You can’t see it now because you don’t know everything.
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FREY: Well again, I won’t know everything until you talk to me.
PETERSON: I will talk to you.
FREY: I’m frustrated right now, Scott.
PETERSON: And I hope you will listen to me. And I will talk to you.
FREY: When?
PETERSON: When there’s some resolution in finding her.
FREY: Wow! Well, that could be months, weeks, years?
PETERSON: God, I hope not.
FREY: So I have to go through hell for this time until something…and just always wondering and having that question, not answers?
PETERSON: In short-term, yes.
FREY: You know you told me you’d think about…you’ve thought a lot about us, but you don’t want to talk about it on the phone.
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: Isn’t that a way to defer the question?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: No? I’m listening because I don’t get any letters or postcards from you. So I’m listening, tell me.
PETERSON: I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you want me to say?
FREY: Do you remember the conversations you said, “Oh, there’s so many things I’ve thought about you and I”?
PETERSON: Yeah. There are.
FREY: And you said I don’t want to share it on the phone and I said well, write me. Well, I haven’t received anything letting me know.
PETERSON: And I haven’t sent it to you.
FREY: What?
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PETERSON: I haven’t sent it to you.
FREY: When are you going to send it to me?
PETERSON: I don’t know if I can.
FREY: You don’t know if you can? You can do anything you set your mind to can’t you?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Anything is possible. So you in some sick twisted way in the back of your mind hoping and wanting for me…or that I wait for you?
PETERSON: I…I…I don’t under…this situation is incredibly difficult. We need to find her. And it’s incredibly unfair to you.
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: And my lying to you is incredibly unfair. I should have told you, you know…you know, the day it happened.
FREY: I think at the point when you…
PETERSON: I should not have lied to you.
FREY: Yes, exactly. The point that you came to my house on December 9th and you said oh, I’ve…I’ve done something terrible and possibly done something to our relationship, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: At that point is when you should have told me Amber, I am married. I’m not happily married. That’s been past…behind me for some time.
PETERSON: Yeah, it would have been better if I’d have told you everything then?
FREY: You think?
PETERSON: I know.
FREY: Uh…do you think that there’d be a different outcome or I’d have such a different mindset than I am right now?
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PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: If you would have came to me and been upfront. Especially from talking to me and knowing how I feel about truth and handling the truth far more than a lie because at least I know…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: …I know what I can do with that. But a lie?
PETERSON: I mean, you’re right.
FREY: A lie…a lie just…there’s never any good in a lie, Scott, never.
PETERSON: You’re right.
FREY: Because truth always prevails, always.
PETERSON: Yes. It’s a good thing it does.
FREY: It’s a good thing it does. And all I can pray is that you don’t have anything to do with this.
PETERSON: I hope you know that.
FREY: At this point, Scott, I don’t.
PETERSON: Oh, my God! (starting to cry) I hope you know me well enough for you…
FREY: That what?
PETERSON: …that I could never do something like this.
FREY: Oh, you hope I know you well enough that you can never do that. But you could lie to me and hide that you have a pregnant wife? And to state again…and I’m going to state this time and time again that the only child you want in your life or to see having is one, and that would be my daughter? Explain. I mean and you want to go have a…you want to be…have a vasectomy because you don’t want have anymore…you don’t want to have a child and you don’t need to have a child of your own to feel that?
PETERSON: I could…
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FREY: How do you think…how do you think this is fair to Ayianna? How many times or I know I did more than once discuss and talk to you, especially our first date, I don’t introduce people to Ayianna I don’t feel I want in her life or I feel…I…I protect her from that.
PETERSON: I know.
FREY: And here I let you into my home.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And it’s my daughter’s life.
PETERSON: I know.
FREY: Because I trusted you, Scott. How do you think that makes me feel?
PETERSON: You should be so angry.
FREY: You think I’m not?
PETERSON: I know you are.
FREY: And…
PETERSON: And I deserve it.
FREY: And angry is an understatement, Scott.
PETERSON: It is. I know it, but I don’t have a better word.
FREY: Yeah, you’re having trouble finding the right words, don’t ya?
PETERSON: And I’m…Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
PETERSON: Okay. I enjoy everything you just said.
FREY: Why are you so accepting of hurtful things from me? I mean it’s almost like a pleasure to hear these.
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PETERSON: Oh, God, it’s not. For you to say those things, no. But I know…I know that by lying to you and not traveling that I did those things. And I know the time I spent with you could affect Ayianna and it was so…
FREY: Did not affect Ayianna?
PETERSON: Could.
FREY: Oh!
PETERSON: It can affect her. And to have hurt you.
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: I…you know, I mean I know that this happened and I deserve what you say. I…I can’t argue against that, it’s true.
FREY: So tell me, Scott, why is this all about you?
PETERSON: It’s not.
FREY: It’s not?
PETERSON: No. There’s so many people involved I this. The main thing is…
FREY: So many people, you say so many people. But isn’t this about Laci and your baby?
PETERSON: The most important thing is finding Laci. Well, and the baby.
FREY: And at this point? So what…what…what?
PETERSON: That is the only resolution, you know. It’s the one thing that we’re all looking for.
FREY: Oh! So let’s see, today is the…(sigh)
PETERSON: The 6th.
FREY: The 6th? So it’s been how many days she’s been missing? Um…
PETERSON: 13 days.
FREY: 13 days? That’s un unlucky number.
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PETERSON: Oh, God, yeah.
FREY: So 13 days, a pregnant woman missing…international news.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And nobody has seen her?
PETERSON: No, a lot of people have.
FREY: People have? Where?
PETERSON: They’ve seen her in this area and I think Sauki saw it.
FREY: Yeah, who knows, I’ll be hearing from her soon.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: She sounded completely distraught and devastated like in just oh, my God, Amber, I hope…I hope you’re okay. I’m so worried about you.
PETERSON: That’s why I had to do this over the phone.
FREY: So you had to do this over the phone again. So if you really cared about her and your baby…
PETERSON: I care very much about finding Laci.
FREY: No, I didn’t say about finding. I said if you really cared about her and your baby, then why didn’t you just let me go when she came up missing?
PETERSON: I wanted to tell you.
FREY: I didn’t…I didn’t say anything about telling me. Why didn’t you…
PETERSON: Well; you needed to know.
FREY: I needed to know?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: So are you…
PETERSON: I wouldn’t have been fair to never have called.
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FREY: Let me…let me ask you this question.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Had she not came up missing…
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: …where…where would you and I be?
PETERSON: Exactly where we were.
FREY: Exactly where we were. And when your baby was born?
PETERSON: Amber, you don’t know.
FREY: You were just gonna hide this baby from me?
PETERSON: Amber, you don’t know everything.
FREY: I don’t know everything.
PETERSON: No, and I can’t tell you everything.
FREY: You can’t tell me because…?
PETERSON: There are too many people involved in this and it would hurt too many people.
FREY: Too many people involved in it that it would hurt. Well, it sounds like you shouldn’t be so…
PETERSON: And it’s hurting you. It’s hurting me right now. It’s hurting you.
FREY: Don’t you think that you holding back…
PETERSON: I feel bad.
FREY: …you’re detrimenting…you’re being detrimental to this whole search?
PETERSON: I’m not holding anything back from the search.
FREY: You sound like you have information?
PETERSON: No, I don’t.
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FREY: Well, then what is it you’re hiding so much?
PETERSON: I have no information that could help find her that I haven’t, you know, talked to the police about.
FREY: (sigh) (heavy sigh) So why the silence?
PETERSON: I don’t know.
FREY: Are you trying to think of the next good thing to tell me?
PETERSON: My God, no, Amber, no. I just…I know that all I can say to you is how sorry I am.
FREY: You know…
PETERSON: And I know it’s of no comfort because you can’t trust me.
FREY: You know, again Scott, this has to be the biggest coincidence I have ever heard of. I mean are you psychic? I mean you predicted your wife would be missing?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: How can you not…
PETERSON: Amber, no.
FREY: How can you not expect me or to even think or even to…to let this pass that you possibly planned this?
PETERSON: I did nothing like that.
FREY: Oh! Well, then again, this is the biggest coincidence ever.
PETERSON: No.
FREY: Elaborate to me?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: How do you think I felt when I ran into Kelly. Oh, I think you know because…I think you know because…I…I know exactly how I responded to that.
PETERSON: How?
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FREY: How do you deal with that, Amber? How is this something you deal with? Heh, heh, heh.
PETERSON: Amber, I care about you.
FREY: You don’t care about me.
PETERSON: I don’t know if you can believe that or not, but I really do.
FREY: You what?
PETERSON: I don’t know if you can believe me or not.
FREY: No, you said something before that.
PETERSON: I care about you.
FREY: Hum! Okay.
PETERSON: I really care about you and it is so painful to hear that you could consider that I may have had something to do with Laci’s disappearance. And I’m not…I’m not trying to blame you for that. I’m just telling you how I’m feeling. And if you knew everything you would not um…think that this could be, to use your term, a coincidence if you knew everything.
FREY: I didn’t hear you, what’d you say?
PETERSON: If you knew everything…
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: …you would not use that…you know, you would not say that.
FREY: If I knew everything? Then why don’t you share with me everything, Scott?
PETERSON: Amber, I can’t.
FREY: Why? I am so frustrated that you say…
PETERSON: I am too.
FREY: …you say you can’t. But you know what…
PETERSON: What’s that?
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FREY: …in the can’t, the…the main word derived from is can.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And that’s a choice to share.
PETERSON: It is, you’re right.
FREY: So what is it?
PETERSON: It is the right choice right now then.
FREY: So then tell me, Scott…
PETERSON: Yeah. Yes.
FREY: Don’t you trust me?
PETERSON: I do trust you.
FREY: You do?
PETERSON: Yeah. And you are a good person.
FREY: And you don’t feel you can trust me?
PETERSON: No, that’s not it at all.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: It’s true.
FREY: So if you trust me, then why can’t you share this information with me?
PETERSON: Because you are…you would share it with everyone.
FREY: Oh, I would share it with everyone?
PETERSON: You would. And you would have to.
FREY: I would have to?
PETERSON: Well, okay, that sounds weird. That considering if the media starts to um…show up to interview you or if, you know, you get all the
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media and they start calling you, it is simpler that if you don’t know everything.
FREY: Hum, hum, hum, hum. It’s simple if I don’t know anything. So you’re telling me right now that you do know something?
PETERSON: I mean I know the details of the relationship, my relationship with Laci over the past years.
FREY: Uh-huh.
PETERSON: I know…well, I know all the details.
FREY: Uh-huh.
PETERSON: And, you know, obviously our families do also. And they’re not bad details.
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: But they’re not appropriate to be shared, you know, with cowboy journalists or any other kind of media.
FREY: And you’re telling me your family is keeping things from the police as well?
PETERSON: No, nothing’s kept from the police.
FREY: Nothing. But you’re keeping things from the police?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: Yes you are because you’re keeping things from me as well.
PETERSON: Oh, no, I’m not. No, I’m not.
FREY: Scott…
PETERSON: From the media.
FREY: Be careful, Scott.
PETERSON: From the media.
FREY: Be careful.
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PETERSON: What do you mean?
FREY: What do I mean? Be careful with what you’re telling me right now because you’re gonna catch yourself in another lie.
PETERSON: No.
FREY: Yeah.
PETERSON: I…I’m done. I lied to you and called you up.
FREY: You’re done lying? Is that what you’re telling me, you’re done lying?
PETERSON: I know you could never believe it.
FREY: Huh! Huh!
PETERSON: I know you could never believe that, Amber, and I’m sorry for that. But I…I called you to tell you this because I needed to tell you.
FREY: Yeah, you needed to tell me before Sauki told me and before…
PETERSON: I wanted to be the one to tell you.
FREY: (sigh) All right. So um…oh, my God, Scott.
PETERSON: I’m sorry, Amber, so sorry.
FREY: You’re not sorry.
PETERSON: I am, I really am. I know if you don’t believe that that’s even worse but the situation is…Amber?
FREY: You know…
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: I’m here. I’m…I’m…I’m just still stuck with why you can’t tell me?
PETERSON: I know. And the only thing I can say about that is once there’s resolution, you know…
FREY: So Scott, tell me?
PETERSON: Yes.
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FREY: So how am I supposed to deal with this?
PETERSON: Um…
FREY: Don’t you think that this is so incredibly cruel?
PETERSON: It is. It’s incredibly unfair to you.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: It’s incredibly unfair to you and cruel, yes.
FREY: And so how is it I’m supposed to deal with the media and the police and everything else that may follow? How am I supposed to deal with it, Scott? Just wait and say nothing until she’s found? Honestly, share with me?!
PETERSON: Amber, it’s your choice what you do.
FREY: No, it’s not my choice. This was not my choice, Scott.
PETERSON: I…I know dragging you into this is not your choice.
FREY: My choice was to meet a single man not involved, not attached, ready for me, in which you stated you were. You said it time and time again I don’t need anymore stress in my life. I have been…I have done everything possible from day one when Anthony told me he wanted nothing to do with his baby.
PETERSON: Oh, Amber!
FREY: I did everything possible to protect my baby and me.
PETERSON: I know it.
FREY: And I told you this. I work 40-plus hours a week because I wasn’t gonna ask for any help from anyone and I did this on my own. (starting to cry)
PETERSON: I know.
FREY: I went to school.
PETERSON: I know it, baby.
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FREY: I had my…I had my baby. I did this all with her. I didn’t need this in my life. I didn’t need for somebody to come in and to fuck all o it up. I have worked too hard.
PETERSON: I know that, Amber. (starting to cry)
FREY: You weren’t supposed to be someone that would bring me down.
PETERSON: No, I don’t want to be.
FREY: You were supposed to be somebody to be there for me.
PETERSON: I don’t want to bring you down. I want to be there for you. (crying) I’m so sorry. You are so amazing. You are just incredible. And you don’t deserve this.
FREY: You…you…you…
PETERSON: You do not deserve this, Amber. I do not deserve this. There’s nothing you did for you to deserve this. There’s no way that you should have to go through this crap. You deserve such good things, such good people, you really do.
FREY: I’m so angry. Unbelievably, just I am so angry.
PETERSON: I know. You do not deserve this. You’re such a strong wonderful person. You deserve so much to be with good people. You deserve so much, only the best. And I need ___________(inaudible)
FREY: (sigh) So are you wanting my help in this, Scott?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: No? You don’t think that you’re gonna need my help in this, Scott?
PETERSON: I know I can’t ask for your help.
FREY: That’s not what I said.
PETERSON: I would love your help, um…but I know right now I can’t ask for it. I’d love your help, mentally your help, but I…it’s so selfish to say that. It’s hard for you to get through because it’s so unfair to you and I can’t ask for that.
FREY: You can’t ask for my help?
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PETERSON: I don’t deserve it from you. I dragged you into this.
FREY: Okay, you can’t ask for my help. I don’t deserve…you don’t deserve my help.
PETERSON: But I would love your help.
FREY: Scott?
PETERSON: Yeah, yeah.
FREY: This isn’t about you.
PETERSON: I know it.
FREY: And this isn’t about me.
PETERSON: You’re right.
FREY: This is about a married woman pregnant with your child.
PETERSON: That’s true. It’s about ____ baby. _________ (inaudible) __________.
FREY: You know, you don’t have to tell me directly and it’s not something…it’s something I’d like to hear. But Scott, I don’t feel I…I…I…I hear you, that’s not your baby.
PETERSON: I’m so happy to hear you tell me about how you made it through with Ayianna.
FREY: How what?
PETERSON: How you’ve just told me how you made the decision to make it on your own and how you’ve worked so hard to protect her and take care of her.
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: And I’m so glad that you know how strong you are, how amazing you are.
FREY: You didn’t answer my question.
PETERSON: I know.
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FREY: Why?
PETERSON: I don’t know.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: Amber, I can’t tell you everything. You don’t want to hear that answer again, I know, (sniff)
FREY: Even the truth?
PETERSON: Amber, I can’t tell you the truth. That’s something we should not talk about and…
FREY: Heh, heh, heh, heh, something we should not talk about? Isn’t this the whole point of this whole discussion?
PETERSON: (sniff)
FREY: Amazing!
PETERSON: The points…the points are I mean Laci is missing and I lied to you about traveling. And I…you do not deserve this. You deserve so much more.
FREY: Why hasn’t anybody come forward, Scott?
PETERSON: Out of respect.
FREY: Out of respect?
PETERSON: Out of respect.
FREY: What respect?
PETERSON: You mean whoever abducted her?
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: Maybe they’re too scared. We’ve had lots of reports of sightings and where she disappeared and where she was and the police are checking all of them and they’re…
FREY: No. What I’m saying is (sigh) there sound to me in what you say, and I’m going to assume because you won’t tell me anything and what you’re saying indirectly…
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PETERSON: Amber, please don’t ask something that I…I can’t answer it.
FREY: Heh, heh, heh, heh.
PETERSON: And you don’t want to hear me say that again I’m sure.
FREY: I just have to say it sounds to me in your choice of words that this baby is not yours.
PETERSON: (no answer)
FREY: Again, silence. Remember actions speak louder than words, Scott.
PETERSON: Yeah, I do.
FREY: (sigh) Again, honestly you don’t think somebody abducted her for her baby?
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: So you don’t…you can’t tell honestly you think that she’s been abducted for her baby?
PETERSON: That’s the only thought I could have.
FREY: That’s the only thought you could have?
PETERSON: It’s the only…the only rational conclusion is that…
FREY: (sigh) Yeah, okay.
PETERSON: I’m not sure what you mean by…I’m sorry, Amber.
FREY: There’s so much you’re keeping and hiding.
PETERSON: I know.
FREY: You know that my prayers were in church Sunday? You know what my prayer request was?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: You know that verse I told you about the seed. I want you to read that.
PETERSON: Yeah, okay. I will.
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FREY: All the way to the end. And my prayer…my deepest prayer request is that I have eyes to see and ears to hear.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And a heart and strength to go behind everything. You know…
PETERSON: I know you have a heart…
FREY: I just should give you a copy of it, get it from the pastor and mail it to you.
PETERSON: I have a Bible here.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: I have a Bible here.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: I have a Bible here.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Well, yeah.
FREY: And so where would your seed fall?
PETERSON: Amber, I’d like to go to the fertile ground.
FREY: To where?
PETERSON: To fertile ground.
FREY: You would bear fruit?
PETERSON: No, the fertile ground like…
FREY: Oh, fertile ground, yes. That’s the good soil, that’s the good seed.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: That bear fruit in multitudes. So you’re telling me…
PETERSON: Isn’t that where we’d all like to be?
FREY: It’s not a matter of where you would like to be, it’s a matter of where you’re at now. Certainly that’s a strive where…
PETERSON: Oh!
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FREY: …a Christian or someone with faith would strive to be.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: That’s not necessarily indicating where you’re at now.
PETERSON: Oh, okay. I misunderstood. Where I want to be.
FREY: Where you want to be?
PETERSON: I…I don’t know what you’re asking. I know I’m doing the right thing by…
FREY: You really know that you’re doing the right thing?
PETERSON: Yes, I’m doing the right thing.
FREY: Um…
PETERSON: I…I…I lied to you and that was the wrong thing obviously.
FREY: And now all of a sudden you’re just…you…you know what, I’m not even going to be a hypocrite in that, you know, that’s between you and God.
PETERSON: Yeah, I’m comfortable with that. I’m so sorry I lied to you.
FREY: My battery will at some point…I don’t know how long we have, is going to die.
PETERSON: Should I call again or no? I mean if you’re willing to talk to me, Amber?
FREY: Well, you know, at this point I’m just so frustrated because you’re not talking about anything we haven’t already discussed several times in the last hour and a half.
PETERSON: Yeah, I know.
FREY: You’re not saying any more because you said you can’t. Who’s stopping you? You? Is somebody holding a gun to your head?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: Is somebody holding a gun to Laci’s head?
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PETERSON: God, maybe.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: I…it is not…it’s not right to talk about…
FREY: What’s not right to talk about?
PETERSON: The things…well, I mean we’re running in circles about the things we can’t talk about.
FREY: We’re running around in circles. Okay, then why don’t you lead me down a straight path into understanding.
PETERSON: I will.
FREY: When?
PETERSON: When there’s some resolve in this.
FREY: How’s anything gonna be resolved if you can’t speak?
PETERSON: We’ll find her.
FREY: So that’s another request. Ask, or is it knock?
PETERSON: I’m sorry?
FREY: I think you know that one, ask and you shall…
PETERSON: Ask and you shall receive?
FREY: Knock and the door will be opened unto you.
PETERSON: Okay.
FREY: How ironic my prayers.
PETERSON: Yeah. I know you have the heart and strength.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: I know you have the heart and strength.
FREY: But do you?
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PETERSON: Not much…
FREY: Your heart’s so clouded.
PETERSON: No, my heart’s is not clouded. Sometimes my strength was that I couldn’t tell you.
FREY: So you don’t have a clouded heart?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: How can you say that?
PETERSON: That’s the one part of me that’s really clear.
FREY: Really?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: So my phone dies and our conversation will be ended by a battery. Um…
PETERSON: Oh, no. Please plug it in. Will it still work if you plug it in?
FREY: I don’t know.
PETERSON: Can you try? I can’t leave you now. Or do you want to? I understand but Amber?
FREY: I’m here. You haven’t lost me yet. But you know what actually I’m looking here and I can’t find my charger. I think it got left at my mom’s when I threw it out in a scuffle. Um…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: The one charger I have is in my car. Um…(sigh) I could…if you’re wanting to keep talking to me that’s…
PETERSON: If you’re willing to? Is that too much to ask?
FREY: Um…well…
PETERSON: I mean, it’s your decision.
FREY: It’s my decision?
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PETERSON: Of course.
FREY: So why are you wanting for this conversation to carry on when at this point it’s going…where do you see it going?
PETERSON: Yeah, well…
FREY: What is it…what more are you wanting to say?
PETERSON: I have…it’s not so much what I want to say, it’s more I like to hear you talk. I just know that, you know, I know how strong you are and just in hopes that…I don’t know why, it’s just that you…I’m not sure, but it’s just good to hear you talk. Did that make any sense at all, Amber?
FREY: Did what?
PETERSON: Did that make any sense at all to you? It makes sense to me.
FREY: It makes sense to you?
PETERSON: Yeah, I just want to hear you talk.
FREY: Oh, I thought you were saying something…off all these things it makes sense because you haven’t made anything clear to me.
PETERSON: I will.
FREY: You know…
PETERSON: It makes sense for me to say it’s good to hear you talk.
FREY: No, I understand…
PETERSON: Because I am so concerned and I feel so bad about this. (starting to cry) And I’m not asking you for anything.
FREY: Uh-huh.
PETERSON: I can barely hope for it.
FREY: You can barely hope for what?
PETERSON: Hope that we have some relationship.
FREY: Excuse me, I…what?
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PETERSON: I can barely hope that we have some relationship.
FREY: Hum! I’ll have to think about that one.
PETERSON: Oh, I know it. I know.
FREY: You know, Scott, I really need to just think about all this.
PETERSON: Okay.
FREY: (sigh) So um…don’t call me.
PETERSON: I understand.
FREY: And I’ll call you if I want to, okay?
PETERSON: Okay. I hope you do.
FREY: You hope I do?
PETERSON: I hope you call.
FREY: (sigh)
PETERSON: I’m so sorry. Uh…you call anytime, okay?
FREY: You never answer.
PETERSON: I’ll make sure that that damn thing is charged up and works.
FREY: Won’t you be so preoccupied in all your flyer hangings and conference meetings and…?
PETERSON: Well, obviously but…please.
FREY: Well, if I do…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: (heavy sigh)
PETERSON: Is that your phone beeping?
FREY: No.
PETERSON: No?
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FREY: Nope. It hasn’t started flashing, but once it starts it’ll disconnect.
PETERSON: Go fast, okay.
FREY: Um…(sigh) Huh! Well, among other things that you seem to have to take so much time to come up with something so good um…
PETERSON: No, no.
FREY: Well, anyway, if I do…if I do call…
PETERSON: Yeah. Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
PETERSON: Okay, what were you saying? I mean did you want to ask something?
FREY: Yeah. Yeah, I do. I said if I do call…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: …will you be ready to tell me the truth?
PETERSON: I will only tell you the truth.
FREY: You will what?
PETERSON: I will only tell you the truth.
FREY: You will only tell me the truth? And this is a new start from after, you know, maybe…
PETERSON: It has to be.
FREY: …your New Year’s resolution is to be truthful?
PETERSON: Yeah, I…yeah, it has to be.
FREY: It has to e. Aren’t most relationships based on trust and truth in the beginning?
PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: Isn’t that how you build on a relationship is by truth?
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PETERSON: Yes.
FREY: Hum. And you thought this…our relationship had a strong foundation for truth when all it’s been is lies?
PETERSON: There were two lies in our relationship.
FREY: How many?
PETERSON: Well, two big ones.
FREY: I don’t think you can count on one hand how many lies…
PETERSON: Yeah, you’re right. You’re right.
FREY: Um…I…I…
PETERSON: I just want you to know that like I said earlier tonight that you can trust me in anything, trust me how special you are and how wonderful you are.
FREY: That’s easy to say.
PETERSON: And if you never call me again…I’m so indebted ______in talking to you.
FREY: That’s easy to say, anybody could say that about me.
PETERSON: But it’s so true.
FREY: And?
PETERSON: And I hope you can trust me in that.
FREY: That’s…you…that’s the only…you could hope that I could trust you in that you believe how special I am?
PETERSON: (sniff) I just hope you know how special you are. And I hope that, you know, assholes like me and the previous guys who lied to you don’t change you.
FREY: (sigh) Well, that’s gonna be a hard one for me to work on (starting to cry).
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PETERSON: Don’t let them change you. God, don’t. (crying) (sniff) You are such a gift and so much to people and for me to give to you. Don’t let people lie to you like I’ve lied to you, don’t change.
FREY: That’s not something I have control over of, other people, Scott.
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: I said that’s not something I have control over of, other people.
PETERSON: Don’t let yourself change though. No, don’t let yourself change because people like me have lied to you.
FREY: (heavy sigh) That’s another one that I’ll have to think about.
PETERSON: Don’t change, Amber. You are wonderful.
FREY: I’ve already been changed, Scott.
PETERSON: I know it. I know, but don’t…don’t change. You are so special. (crying)
FREY: (heavy sigh) So was I just like such an easy target because I’m just so trusting and loving of a person?
PETERSON: (sniff) You’re not a target to me, Amber. You’re not a target to me.
FREY: Well, I can’t help but to be any other way than that. I take that back, it’s not true.
PETERSON: That’s not true. You are not a target to me, Amber..
FREY: That doesn’t sum it up.
PETERSON: I don’t…I don’t understand what you’re saying, I’m sorry. Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
PETERSON: Yeah. And you’re…you’re not a target to me.
FREY: No, Laci already has been.
PETERSON: Oh, my God, Amber.
FREY: Oh, my God but…
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PETERSON: Don’t say that. No.
FREY: You know, Scott, I…I just really need to think about all this so don’t call me.
PETERSON: Okay, I won’t. I respect that.
FREY: I’ll call you, okay?
PETERSON: Please do. Please do.
FREY: Gotta go.
PETERSON: Bye.
(beep)
FREY: Oh, my God!