People's Exhibit 198B & 199B
Recording not available PDF
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RECORDED PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN AMBER FREY AND SCOTT PETERSON:
(January 12, 2003 at 1919 hours
(beep)
FREY: Hello.
PETERSON: Hey.
FREY: What happened?
PETERSON: I don’t know, I just…I won’t move again. It’s just…did you hear me?
FREY: No.
PETERSON: That I still feel guilty for hurting you and putting you in this situation, like I’ve destroyed, you know, a beautiful, God’s beautiful creation from amazing people that you mean the world to touch you. It’s so hard to hear you’re sad because I…(sounds like crying)
FREY: (heavy sigh)
PETERSON: I received um…the card and the photo.
FREY: Why did it take so long to get to you?
PETERSON: I don’t know. I got it yesterday.
FREY: Was it opened?
PETERSON: Or not yesterday, Friday.
FREY: Was it opened?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: I got yours I think two days after you sent it.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I don’t know why yours would have taken that much longer.
PETERSON: I want to tell you what I did with them because I want you to understand that I realize that there could be some confusion, okay.
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FREY: Uh hum
PETERSON: I took um…both the card you gave me when we last saw each other in that photo and also the card you sent and the photo and I mailed ‘em back to you.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: I wanted…I wanted to keep them, but I know that I don’t deserve the thoughts in the cards. And I didn’t know if you wanted me to have the photos. I wanted to keep them, but I…I…I didn’t know what your wishes would be.
FREY: And was there a note with ‘em?
PETERSON: Um…I just wrote a real uh…simple note that just said I don’t deserve the card and the thoughts and um…I thought you might want the photos I didn’t know if you wanted me to have ‘em. You were with Ayianna.
FREY: You obviously didn’t so.
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: I said you obviously didn’t so…
PETERSON: No, I want to have them, Amber.
FREY: Well then…
PETERSON: That’s why I told you…I said I was afraid of this confusion, I realized that after I mailed them. But it just seemed like the right thing to do because I didn’t think you wanted me have ‘em. ( ) I don’t deserve…I don’t deserve the thoughts behind them. I’m lucky enough that I have uh…the picture, you know, in my head of you and the feeling and the picture of Ayianna and, you know, the wonderful time when I got to pick her up from her school and spend time with her and, you know, so many memories in the short time with you. I just did not think that you wanted me to have them. Don’t be confused about my intentions, okay?
FREY: Why did you have to say you were leaving so much earlier?
PETERSON: What’s that, Amber?
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FREY: The last time I saw you was December 15th and I remember you left at 12:15. Why did you have…why if you weren’t leaving before Christmas, why couldn’t I have seen you then? It was still a whole week, a whole 10 days away from Christmas.
PETERSON: I don’t remember why, Amber.
FREY: You don’t remember why?
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: You don’t remember why?
PETERSON: I don’t remember why I had to leave early. I know I lied to you baby, Amber. That’s the worst thing. I’m just…I hope…
FREY: What?
PETERSON: …I hope you can trust me again at some point and I know I have to earn it and I have to do it with actions, that’s all I know.
FREY: I think you…I told you I need the one thing that would ever even…
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: I said I’ve told you already that there’s probably only one thing ever that would even remotely begin that and that would be Laci being alive and...
PETERSON: We all hope for that, Amber.
FREY: …and found alive. And any other way than that, I don’t see how that’s possible, Scott.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Do you understand?
PETERSON: Yeah, I do. I see what you’re saying.
FREY: At this point I don’t even know what today is. January…
PETERSON: 12th.
FREY: 12th. January 12th. And it’s been…it’s been three weeks since she’s been missing?
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PETERSON: 19 days, yeah.
FREY: How is…I mean what is the likeliness of her all of a sudden…there’s been no ransom, there’s been no…there hasn’t been anything on…
PETERSON: True. I sure hope the police are working on something that we don’t know about.
FREY: So the likeliness of her being alive at this point is really…?
PETERSON: That’s what they all say is that yeah, hope is growing thinner for a lot of people.
FREY: What’s that?
PETERSON: Hope is growing thinner for a lot of people. Those church services today brought back…there was some hope to me.
FREY: Brought hope that…?
PETERSON: What’s that, Amber?
FREY: Brought hope that what?
PETERSON: That hope was what?
FREY: You said brought hope to you?
PETERSON: It brought more hope to me.
FREY: That she might possibly be alive?
PETERSON: What’s that, Amber?
FREY: That she might possibly be alive?
PETERSON: That she was last seen alive and well, yeah. Amber?
FREY: I’m here.
PETERSON: Okay. I hope you call me again.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: Because (inaudible) I like talking to you and I think it’s important.
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FREY: Who do you…who do you confide…who do you confide in? I mean who…who in your family or your friends and have you confided in? Anybody?
PETERSON: I don’t know what you mean. I mean I don’t have to confide.
FREY: I mean what you’re going through. I mean…
PETERSON: Oh, yeah, I talk to lots of people. I mean I’ve talked to…
FREY: Who? Who is the one person…
PETERSON: Clergy, brothers.
FREY: One person?
PETERSON: Well, all my brothers that have been up here. Friends that, you know, have come down, friends from…
FREY: Who do you confide in about me, or to?
PETERSON: Okay, say that again?
FREY: Who has…
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: Yes. Can you hear me?
PETERSON: I can now. What did you ask?
FREY: Who…who have you confided in about me?
PETERSON: A couple people.
FREY: Who?
PETERSON: Uh…one guy’s name is Aaron.
FREY: Aaron, and who is he?
PETERSON: Yeah. It’s a friend from high school.
FREY: Who else?
PETERSON: Uh…Scott.
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FREY: Scott?
PETERSON: He’s a friend from high school as well.
FREY: And who else?
PETERSON: Um…those are the guys, those are the guys that I talk to.
FREY: And why did you confide in them about me?
PETERSON: Those are the guys I’m close to.
FREY: Hum!
PETERSON: Those are my longest, you know, friends.
FREY: So like I had expressed in my letter um…you know, “I feel so lost as to”, you know, “I really don’t know what your world is like. I would like to go to Sac”. Well, you don’t even live in Sacramento, that was even a lie, “with you when you get back and spend some time on your grounds and meet your friends too.”
PETERSON: Yeah. I would like that.
FREY: “My heart hurts when I talk to you on the phone and I really don’t want to be fooled…”
PETERSON: And mine…mine hurts also, but when I talk to you…
FREY: …”or down when I talk to you”…
PETERSON: I’m sorry. You’re down?
FREY: It’s just amazing I wrote these things on December 24th. I really don’t want to be sad or down when I talk to you. I need to work on that. And I am happy for you that you got to spend time with your brother and dad and uncle for Thanksgiving.” But you told me the other day that you…it was just your brother, your dad and uncle weren’t there?
PETERSON: Well, my uncle, that’s his place. My brother and I went there.
FREY: And now your mom and dad for Christmas?
PETERSON: Amber, I lied to you about that, about the travel.
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FREY: “You know I feel sad because I feel lonely inside and that I wish you were spending these times with me too.”
PETERSON: I know. When I talk to you on the phone how my heart hurts as well.
FREY: “I don’t feel included in your life yet. I know everything is still new and are things always going to be like this? You gone and rushing off even on the phone? Well, I understand why I felt that way because you were running off to go to be with your wife. Because I need, and I underlined need, more in my life.”
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: So should I not care? Is that how I could deal with that or we could deal with that is that I just don’t care?
PETERSON: No, please don’t, Amber.
FREY: But it would certainly hurt less wouldn’t it?
PETERSON: Yes, it would.
FREY: Do you understand why I said “working on loving you”?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: Because I’ve hurt you.
FREY: “Working on loving you.” That’s how I ended the letter, “Amber.”
PETERSON: Well, I know.
FREY: Why do you think I would even write “working on loving you”?.
PETERSON: Because I mean you’ve been hurt by so many people it’s difficult to put yourself out there.
FREY: No.
PETERSON: No?
FREY: Well, yeah, but just because…( ) I can’t…
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PETERSON: You knew I wasn’t being…you knew I wasn’t being honest with you.
FREY:
PETERSON: And I’m sorry that I destroyed and I’ve hurt you, Amber.
FREY: What about Shawn? How do you feel…I mean…?
PETERSON: I feel terrible what I did to her and you…to you of course. And I worry about how this impacts Ayianna.
FREY: Yeah, well, I’m thankful that I do have people around me that are…I can trust and…
PETERSON: You deserve it.
FREY: And uh…are here for me right now because…
PETERSON: Good. Will I hear from you again, Amber?
FREY: Well, I’m sure…I’m sure…I’m sure this isn’t the last time you and I will speak.
PETERSON: Good.
FREY: But I don’t know…I don’t know uh…I don’t know uh…what else there’s to talk about. I mean…
PETERSON: You don’t deserve it…
FREY: Well, I mean I could…huh?
PETERSON: And I hope you could listen to your spirit.
FREY: You understand though I’m about truth, right?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Huh?
PETERSON: Yes, I do. There’s your little one, huh?
FREY: Yeah, she’s fussing again. I’m in another room. I haven’t been able to be by myself, which uh…I thought about the last couple of days and I’m not real happy about feeling that way.
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PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Cause that’s not like me. (baby crying, yelling in background)
PETERSON: Are those full sentences?
FREY: Huh?
PETERSON: Are those full sentences?
FREY: What?
PETERSON: Is she speaking in full sentences out there?
FREY: I can’t hear you.
PETERSON: Ayianna, is she speaking in full sentences?
FREY: Um…more so. She has, yeah.
PETERSON: Good.
FREY: More so, she’s still working on it but…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Every day is a new day.
PETERSON: She’s an amazing…she’s an amazing wonderful girl. I’d like to be part of it. Um…all I can ask you is…( is just listen to your spirit and your heart and please call again. You don’t want me to call you…
FREY: What?
PETERSON: You don’t want me to call you so we should just leave it there.
FREY: Leave it where?
PETERSON: That I hope to hear from you.
FREY: Well, you’ve been the one to always call me in the past, right?
PETERSON: Yeah, but you asked me not to call you so…
FREY: I did say that.
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PETERSON: I can respect that, because I lied to you.
FREY: I…I remember…I remember. I said, you know, I need time to think about this so don’t call me, I’ll call you when I’m ready.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: That was more or less in reference to that phone conversation.
PETERSON: That doesn’t hold true now?
FREY: I was just rephrasing that conversation.
PETERSON: I just don’t want to call you and obviously upset you and you’re not prepared for it or what. But I would like to be open to where I can call you.
FREY:
PETERSON: Is that possible?
FREY: Well uh…what do you think you’re…I mean what…
PETERSON: I don’t deserve to be able to call you, Amber. That’s what I’m saying. And I’m, you know, I’m elated that I received a call from you last night.
FREY: That what?
PETERSON: That you called last night.
FREY: What about it?
PETERSON: I’m elated. I mean…
FREY: Why…why weren’t you able to answer my call?
PETERSON: I…I guess I just left the phone in the car.
FREY: And where were you?
PETERSON: I was at the house in Modesto.
FREY: You were where?
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PETERSON: The house in Modesto.
FREY: What house in Modesto?
PETERSON: The house.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: The house where Laci disappeared.
FREY: Isn’t that your house?
PETERSON: Amber.
FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: Okay.
FREY: That’s your house, it’s Scott and Laci Peterson’s house. Then why aren’t you correcting the media, why aren’t you correcting people then if you’re telling me that’s not what it is?
PETERSON: I’m not telling you anything, I’m not…I can’t say anything.
FREY: You certainly could say yeah, that’s my house?
PETERSON: I’m not going to say anything about it, okay.
FREY: So Scott Peterson…
PETERSON: That’s not the way…that’s not the way I want to leave this conversation.
FREY: Scott Peterson…
PETERSON: I want to leave this conversation…I want you to know that knowing you called me made me happy. I want you to know that when I talk to you my heart hurts for what I did to you and I hear how much pain I’ve caused you. But there’s also a little light that, you know, comes in to me when I get to talk to you and there’s a chance for me to…to tell you how wrong I was to lie to you, there’s a chance for me to tell you how beautiful you are and wonderful you are and hope that you’ll never change who you are. There’s a chance that, you know, maybe I can learn from you.
FREY: That what?
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PETERSON: That I can learn from you (inaudible). Okay, Amber, can I call you? What should I do?
FREY: What?
PETERSON: What should I do now? Can I…can I feel…
FREY: That’s my question. What…what do I do now?
PETERSON: I don’t know, I don’t know what to tell you. Can I feel free to call you or should I wait for your call? I’ll wait for your call?
FREY: No.
PETERSON: No? Good.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: Is that a no?
FREY: You said good?
PETERSON: Well, I don’t want to have to wait for your call, I want to be able to call you. Is that okay? Is that okay, Amber?
FREY: You know, it’s funny that you even ask that. Is it okay that you lied to me?
PETERSON: No, it’s not.
FREY: Is it okay that my life is just confusion and…and…
PETERSON: I have…yeah, I caused it all.
FREY: I…I…I completely understand what you said about being numb because I feel that quite often myself.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Can I…can I go a day without crying? No. Can I go a day without remembering times that you and I spent together in conversations? No.
PETERSON: I know I can’t.
FREY: Can I go a day without asking why?
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PETERSON: I saw you in the mirror the other day.
FREY: You saw me in the mirror?
PETERSON: Yeah. It was the strangest thing.
FREY: And what was I doing in the mirror?
PETERSON: You just came in the mirror. It was wonderful, you had a smile on your face.
FREY: And what was I wearing?
PETERSON: A red turtleneck. Your red turtleneck sweater.
FREY: It’s in my car.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I grabbed it yesterday. What else did you see?
PETERSON: That was it, it was just a flash. You made my heart jump.
FREY: Was I wearing it?
PETERSON: Yeah, the red turtleneck, yeah. Black pants.
FREY: What color?
PETERSON: Black pants. With a smile.
FREY: I was wearing black pants yesterday and grabbed the sweater and put it in front of me in the mirror at my house.
PETERSON: Did you get a chance to smile?
FREY: I don’t know.
PETERSON: That’s what I wanted. Wish I could…I remember.
FREY: But I wasn’t wearing it.
PETERSON: I know, I know, but I remembered that smile that I see on you playing with Ayianna.