People's Exhibit 198C & 199C
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RECORDED PHONE CONVERSATION BETWEEN AMBER FREY AND SCOTT PETERSON:
(January 14, 2003 at 1158 hours)
(phone ringing)
FREY: Hello.
PETERSON: Hi, Amber, it’s Scott. How are you?
FREY: Um…I don’t feel very well, but better.
PETERSON: Do you feel sick?
FREY: I was sick yesterday.
PETERSON: Oh! From this I assume or…?
FREY: What?
PETERSON: From this or from the flu or…?
FREY: I don’t know, I was throwing up.
PETERSON: Oh, gosh! I’m sure it was probably brought on partially by this, huh?
FREY: I don’t know. Well, my life hasn’t gotten any less complicated.
PETERSON: Yeah. Has anything else occurred or…?
FREY: Hum! Well, I really don’t want to talk about it.
PETERSON: Okay, I understand. I was just uh…well, I had called last night just to uh…well, I hoping to hear about your day, that was all. You asked me uh…before why I had called, what I had hoped to accomplish and I just had to say that, I, I couldn’t hope to accomplish anything but I just wanted to hear about your day to see…It would be nice to hear about it. But it sounds like you’re very sick obviously.
FREY: No, I’m…I’m better today. Yesterday I was…
PETERSON: Or yesterday.
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FREY: Yesterday I worked. I had three clients and after I had…like after my last one I just started feeling like I had…I don’t know, I just didn’t feel good. And then I was up later in the evening.
PETERSON: Oh, my gosh! Is there anyone to help you or take care of you or were you alone with Ayianna?
FREY: Um…not till later. I was alone for a while.
PETERSON: Yeah. And then who helped you or did you go somewhere?
FREY: No, I…my um…friend Dave came and brought some stuff for me.
PETERSON: Good.
FREY: Um…what are you doing?
PETERSON: Um…well, I got done um…I’ve been
um…at that warehouse here for about an hour loading up a truck. I was at the
FREY: You know um…
PETERSON: I’m more interested in how you’re doing?
FREY: You’re more interested in how I’m doing?
PETERSON: Yeah, than to talk about what I’m
doing. I mean I just uh…you know, like I said I just wanted to hear about,
you know, what your day was like yesterday and was interested if…about um…you
know, your still possible trip to
FREY: Oh, doubtful.
PETERSON: Really? Is that adoption or that’s not gonna happen or…?
FREY: Um…I don’t know. I just…I’m not…I…I’d rather not take a trip with her at this point. She’s not one of my favorable people at this time.
PETERSON: Oh! Is that something recent or do you not want me to ask these questions?
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FREY: Yeah, it’s…just uh…no, not…not necessarily something recent, but…but uh…just so anyways um…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I just as soon not be on the plane with her.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: But uh…you know, I was listening to your sister talk yesterday.
PETERSON: Uh-hum.
FREY: About you.
PETERSON: Yeah. Which was it, Janey or Susan?
FREY: Yeah.
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: Is it Kim?
PETERSON: No, Kim is um…from the Foundation, Kim Peterson.
FREY: Okay, then it’s a different…maybe it is. I should…I should have looked at her name a little bit better. She has dark short hair.
PETERSON: Yeah, Janey.
FREY: That’s your sister?
PETERSON: Uh-hum ( ). Sister-in-law.
FREY: So…
PETERSON: Was she the one on…she did Larry King last night, is that what you were watching?
FREY: Uh-hum (
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: It’s frustrating to watch.
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PETERSON: Yeah, I know. And then they had all those supposed experts on afterwards. She shouldn’t even be in the media. She just came up yesterday for the first time and since my mom couldn’t appear because of her health and they asked Janey to do it and she doesn’t know what’s going around here very well.
FREY: So why is it um…even Laci’s sister insists that there was no other boy…there was no boyfriend or girlfriend?
PETERSON: Oh, Amy?
FREY: Why does the family still…I mean is that because that’s the truth to them, they know it…know…they don’t know any different?
PETERSON: Amber, um…you know, we…you asked me what I hoped to accomplish by calling, you know, and I just…I wanted to talk to you and we can…we can go over all these questions again that you have and unfortunately no, I can’t answer them for you now. And I’m sorry I can’t give you answers now. Um…so I mean if you wanna start down this road, you know, and have the same conversation that we’ve had and if that’s what you want, that’s fine. But I would…I mean frankly I would just like to know about you. Do you understand what I’m saying?
FREY: It’s always been that way though hasn’t it from the beginning? You’ve always been more interested in me than for me to ever ask you any questions. Why is it that way?
PETERSON: At least from my standpoint I find you fascinating, you know. And like I’ve said you are beautiful and you’re of interest to me and I care about you. But I mean if you want, you know, save…I just, you know, save yourself a frustrating conversation because I can’t answer, now, questions that you want to know.
FREY: Even when we spent time together, Scott, it seemed like it was the same way then too. Oh, we’ll talk about it when I get back. Right?
PETERSON: Yeah, that was the last time that…yeah, you’re right.
FREY: But what if….
PETERSON: And I’m sorry if I, you know, asked so many questions about you, but it’s just…I mean you’re of interest to me and I like to learn and I like to know.
FREY: But I like to know about you too.
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PETERSON: Because I worry about you.
FREY: But you don’t share anything about you.
PETERSON: Well, you know, I can’t share anything about this situation um…now.
FREY: Yeah.
PETERSON: And I will um…and that’s the way it is unfortunately. So did you…you felt better this morning, but you still feel sick?
FREY: I feel better, I don’t feel nauseous. I feel really weak.
PETERSON: Really? How did Ayianna react to you being sick and vomiting and stuff? Was she in there worried obviously or…?
FREY: She was in there with me.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I kept telling her to go and she was just standing. She was just saying, “Mama”, and I said, “Honey, go away.”
PETERSON: That must be tough.
FREY: Um…
PETERSON: Was she in tears or concerned or did she know?
FREY: No. No, she was just concerned…no, she wasn’t crying.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: She cries every night though. I don’t…
PETERSON: Does she?
FREY: Uh-huh (
PETERSON: What does she cry about?
FREY: Oh, she cries for me and I’m right there. It’s becoming very frustrating.
PETERSON: She can tell that you’re hurting, yeah. And you?
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FREY: And me what?
PETERSON: Well, I mean I asked you a couple days ago your feelings of what you were going through and you couldn’t tell me at that time. Can you now or is it difficult to pin down?
FREY: Um…yeah, it’s kinda difficult to pin down. I’m frustrated, I’m betrayed.
PETERSON: Uh hum.
FREY: I feel sickened.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Sad. I don’t know what’s real. It’s hard for me sometimes to close my eyes.
PETERSON: Really? What happens when you do?
FREY: My mind just wanders.
PETERSON: To what?
FREY: A million different things.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And you?
PETERSON: What?
FREY: How do you feel?
PETERSON: You’ve covered a range of emotions and that’s the roller coaster I go through I mean every day. Um…I just…I feel…I mean I have everything from anger to…I know that, you know, it’s um…I feel, you know, such guilt that I involved you in this and I feel such anger towards to whoever could be, you know, who abducted Laci. And, you know, sadness on both sides and a little bit of hope…well, I mean a lot of hope. So I mean just like you, just a range of emotions.
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FREY: You say you’re…
PETERSON: But you’re more…so much more a victim than I.
FREY: How is that?
PETERSON: I’m sorry, go ahead.
FREY: How am I more a victim then you?
PETERSON: Well, because, you know, you are…
FREY: It’s your wife.
PETERSON: Well, obviously Laci was the largest victim. But you, you know, didn’t have to be involved in this situation except that, you know, I want…was seeing you.
FREY: How were you to know that this was gonna happen?
PETERSON: You know that I want to be involved. Oh, I didn’t obviously, but I mean, you know, you were dragged into it and you, you know, had no…you know, you didn’t um…you didn’t know Laci or anything.
FREY: No, because you lied to me.
PETERSON: Yes, I did. That’s what I mean by that. What was your question? I cut you off.
FREY: So the same question comes to my mind when Shawn said if you’re not serious about a relationship, then don’t call my friend, Amber.
PETERSON: Yeah, that’s what she said.
FREY: I don’t understand why you called me. You haven’t taken care of your shit yet, you’re still married. When I asked you after you told me you lost your wife, I said are you ready for me and you said absolutely. Oh, God, yes, or whatever you said. I mean how…I don’t understand how you could have said that when you weren’t ready for me. You’re still married and have a child on the way. I mean that just blows my mind away. If you were ready for me, then you would have…this relationship you wouldn’t of…it…you wouldn’t have been married, you wouldn’t have been…be running off to go see your wife and going back and forth. I mean this is not the way…it’s not right, was not right. I understand people in
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FREY: relationships and there’s a lot of complications involved, finances, emotions and whatnot. But you take care of your shit before you involve somebody else.
PETERSON: That’s true.
FREY: It’s just so ironic that you…that you and I had those conversations about your sister of all people. Do you remember?
PETERSON: Yeah. Yeah, I do.
FREY: You know and…and where I was in my life, I’m so ready for somebody to be in my life, Scott.
PETERSON: I know that.
FREY: You know, I didn’t have any hang-ups on…on anyone. Oh, I just had this bad relationship, you know, I…I didn’t…I got past any of those things. I…I’m…I’m hang-up free.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I was ready for somebody to come in my life and be there for me and my daughter. And you lied to me. I thought that person was you, but it was just all a lie, Scott. It’s so unfair because I worked so hard to be where I was at mentally, emotionally. Does that make sense to you?
PETERSON: I know that’s all true, Amber. I know that, I know. I know how hard you worked um…you know, you developed yourself. And it’s absolutely not fair, you don’t deserve to be in this situation.
FREY: You know, Ayianna sees you, “Scott, Scott”.
PETERSON: Oh!
FREY: “Mama, Scott.” “Yes, baby.” You know, it’s so…I just…I’m just so frustrated, Scott.
PETERSON: I understand that, Amber. I can, yeah.
FREY: You know, should I be in fear of my own life?
PETERSON: Not from me, Amber.
FREY: What?
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PETERSON: Not from me.
FREY: Not from you?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: From possibly whoever took Laci, should I be in fear from…for…of them?
PETERSON: I don’t think so. I don’t see why. I’m very sorry that you’re involved in this, Amber. You don’t deserve it. I was reading a book last night that I hadn’t looked at in quite some time and it was I think titled Reading the Bible With Heart and Soul. And it has this kind of a modern um…look at how you can personally relate to the text. And I wish I had it here because it had um…passages I found regarding not um…taking care of your fellow man uh…being in sin and of course fellow man being any human being, but it’s fairly relevant. It’s um…something I’d like to be able to share with you, but I don’t have it here.
FREY: Why’d you call Shawn today?
PETERSON: Because I was worried about you. I know I was short with her, I just had to know if…if you were…I mean I feared that you’re physically hurt or in the hospital or something.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: Um…I assumed just because I called last night and didn’t reach you and didn’t hear from you. And then uh…I just had this I don’t know this terrible feeling. And, you know, I’m not in touch enough to know why I have this feeling, but it’s just was uh…the first thing that came to mind so I called her just to know.
FREY: ( ) (pause)
PETERSON: I’d like to hear you talk about what you’re feeling if you’d like to. I don’t know if it helps you or not.
FREY: About how I’m feeling about what because, you know, the things I want to know you can’t tell me so…
PETERSON: Yeah, that’s frustration, definitely.
FREY: You can’t tell me at what point you could tell me all these things or that will never happen? Right?
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PETERSON: Yeah. Maybe you can tell me how Ayianna’s doing. Um…maybe you can tell me like what you did that it’s difficult to close your eyes sometimes. I mean if you want to share anything. Was she at school today?
FREY: I took her to school.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Uh-hum.
PETERSON: Are you working today or just…?.
FREY: No, I was gonna try to do stuff around here. I’m just…I’m just gonna rest and…
PETERSON: Yeah, after being sick, definitely.
FREY: Get some stuff done. I don’t know…
PETERSON: Yeah. I’m sorry?
FREY: I said I’m not working today so…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I had an interesting…interesting conversation with a client yesterday.
PETERSON: Did you? Tell me?
FREY: Um…I was…he overheard me saying something about wishing to be in somebody else’s shoes just for a day.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And he…when I came in he kinda laughed and he said…he commented on it and I said oh, well, yeah, actually it would be nice to be in somebody else’s shoes for a day. Mine certainly aren’t uh…the ones to be in.
PETERSON: Uh-hum.
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FREY: And uh…we talked and he was talking about his daughter and…and we got into a conversation of dating and types of people dating that are…are uh…and uh…I was very vague of course in talking about you.
PETERSON: Sure.
FREY: And how, you know, I just seemed to date wolves in sheep’s clothing. And he said oh, those are the worst kind. He said those are hunters of people such as yourself. And I asked him what he thought of me. And…and uh…I don’t know. He…he gave me, you know, a different perspective in which…on what he thought and it was just kind of strange. He said well, you know, some people they’ll be married five years and not necessarily happy but just go through the time until something comes along. Maybe in your case, you know, he was testing the…to see if the grass is greener on the other side and found it to be that it was and was in a situation at that point that, you know, he…you know, and he goes it involves possible finances and emotions and if there’s children involved. And it was just…it was just odd that…that this time frame though that he threw out there as far as you…you had been married for 5 years, right?
PETERSON: Uh-hum
FREY: I hadn’t mentioned any of those things.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: That there might be a child involved or anything.
PETERSON: Hum!
FREY: And I just let him talk. I mean I can understand, I know other people that their marriages have been over for some time and, you know, well, actually I know quite a few people that are still married but they’re not together. It’s just easier not to do the divorce or uh…if, you know, there’s other complications that are involved with that.
PETERSON: Hum!
FREY: But um…
PETERSON: How did he describe you? Was he accurate?
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FREY: Hum?
PETERSON: Was he accurate?
FREY: Uh…I don’t know.
PETERSON: How did he describe you?
FREY: I…I don’t recall exactly, Scott. He…he’d make a comment then, he goes…”You know, it was kind of strange…”, cause last week I…was the first time I had seen him, he was a new client, he said, “You know, it’s kind of strange though because when I…when I was getting into my car I thought wow, she has really pretty eyes.” He goes, “And that’s not like me, I don’t really think of those things or, you know.” But he goes, “But I remember making that comment to myself.”
PETERSON: Hum!
FREY: Um…I’m thinking of what you wrote. I’m a magnet to people. I think I’m a magnet to the wrong people.
PETERSON: Hum!
FREY: A magnet to all the wolves in sheep’s clothing.
PETERSON: That’s funny I was um…I don’t know why, but I started writing stuff last night and it was based uh…it started from that…when you asked me a few nights ago I think, you know, why um…
FREY: What’s that?
PETERSON: I started writing last night and it was kind of…it started from when you asked me why, you know, guys who are gonna hurt you are drawn to you basically. Um…and it was…it’s completely different than the wolf in sheep’s clothing thing. And I don’t know why I was writing it, but I was just sitting there in front of the computer and started typing away, and I guess in an effort to look at that question. I know is kind of amateurish but, you know, philosophy or some idea that I had.
FREY: So are you going to send some…a copy of it to me that I can read?
PETERSON: I you want I could
FREY: Yeah, I would.
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PETERSON: Okay. It would be interesting to see your views on it. And again it amateurish but it’s…
FREY: It’s what?
PETERSON: It’s kind of what I…it’s amateurish, but it’s kind of what I think is true about that.
FREY: In regards to me?
PETERSON: No, in regards to all kinds of relationships.
FREY: Oh!
PETERSON: But you asked the question and it’s a question that a lot of people have asked. It’s a question I’ve asked, you know, and um…I don’t know I was just trying to explore it a little bit. And it actually has a lot to do with another book that I was reading um…and it’s an interesting point. Were you thinking of someone else’s shoes specifically, or just out of the situation that I put you in right now?
FREY: Oh, just somebody else’s shoes. Well, you know, people…everybody has something going on their life that’s not necessarily straightforward. If they…I’d rather be in those shoes than mine.
PETERSON: Is there someone close to you that I would know that you envy their shoes currently or…?
FREY: It was not anyone specifically, just not my own.
PETERSON: Okay, okay.
FREY: Nope. I just…it’s just been one thing after another.
PETERSON: Yeah, yeah.
FREY: It’s just…it just hasn’t gotten any less complicated for me.
PETERSON: I know. You don’t deserve any of this.
FREY: You know the next…probably the next thing will be Anthony wanting custody of Ayianna and I’ll have to battle with that. And that’s the only logical thing that, you know, could possibly happen because heck, damn.
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PETERSON: Oh, sweetie! I’m sorry.
FREY: Well, it’s been six months, her birthday’s next month so yeah, it might…something might occur again. It’s just…
PETERSON: Did that happen before?
FREY: Well, she’s a year and a half, yeah.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: He’s all of a sudden wanting…because I went to his sister’s birthday party at their house out at his parent’s house.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And he…all of a sudden he wanted to start seeing her and I said that’s fine. But uh…oh, well, he called me the uh…he said can I call you and I said well, that offer’s always been there. I said, you know, that my number’s the same. So he called me the following week and he wanted to take Ayianna to the zoo and I said okay. I go well, she’s sleeping.
PETERSON: But that was with his girlfriend, right?
FREY: Yeah. I go what do you have in mind? And he said well, Daniella and me…and I guess well, you’ll have to be there or something sarcastic and I said…I said, you know, if you’re wanting to establish a relationship with Ayianna I don’t see where she needs…you know, I personally don’t want…you know, have a desire to hang out with her. I’m sure she’s very nice and I have nothing against her, but…but in the meantime you need to, you know, do that on your own. You don’t know her, she doesn’t know you so…
PETERSON: It’s a hard decision on your part definitely.
FREY: Well, he…he then put it that I…I am being a control freak and that I’m keeping her…her…
PETERSON: By being a good mother?
FREY: Well um…and, you know, he’s put me through hard times. And he had seen her twice before that and it was because I had been over at his mom’s house.
PETERSON: Yeah.
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FREY: And I invited…I said you’re more than welcome to come, you know, for her birthday. And then he was saying something about Daniella and I said you know she…I said I’m inviting you, I said but I have…
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Beautiful or__________(inaudible). And she’s better off without the complications of someone in and out of consistency at all.
PETERSON: Yeah, without question.
FREY: And I just…I’m just on edge at this point.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And just when I was talking to my friend last night, I said you know, my birthdays really haven’t been that great ever. I said but now, on my birthday this year the whole entire world is going to be mourning on my birthday.
(long pause)
PETERSON: What?
FREY: Well, I was just remembering a conversation we had about my birthday.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And I said I…I sound kind of pathetic huh?
PETERSON: No. No, you don’t. You don’t sound pathetic at all.
FREY: Well, you know, when I was telling you…well, we had talked about it before and I said…
PETERSON: Right.
FREY: I said it sounds pathetic but my birthdays have always, you know, I’ve usually been by myself.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And this year on my birthday will just be a day of mourning for a lot of people. So I keep thinking it can’t get any worse, but it just gets worse and worse and worse.
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PETERSON: Hum!
FREY: You’re quiet?
PETERSON: I just…I want to hear what you have to say, Amber. That’s the only reason I called. I just hope that you know…you know, like what you just said, that it can’t get worse but it seems to that, you know, that you never caused any of this, you know, the things that had happened to you and what you’re going through and everything like that. It’s just my continual hope that you…and I think you do, is that true or no?
FREY: That I do what?
PETERSON: That you know that you deserve so much better and have never been the cause of, you know, the things you’ve gone through. How do you feel about that?
FREY: I don’t know?
PETERSON: I mean can you…I mean do you think…I guess I want you to know that you’re not the cause of things you’ve gone through with anyone, you know. And it’s…it’s scary to me that you’re…you don’t know immediately that…I mean you haven’t done these things and, you know, you’ve been dragged into situations and been burned by people. You know it’s not you doing it. You must know that. Yeah?
FREY: It’s not me doing ‘em, but it’s…
PETERSON: Well, you’ve done nothing ever to deserve the treatment that you’ve received from me or from all the other people. It’s just explained often by um…religion, you know, the whole thing of why bad things happen to good people.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: Well, I don’t know. What I’m saying is isn’t that a fairly common answer that’s from Christianity at least that, you know, that um…I believe it’s only given to those that can handle it and it’s a test and…
FREY: God won’t give more than you can handle kind of…?
PETERSON: Right. isn’t that the answer that Christianity always gives? Or is…or is there others?
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FREY: Tests?
PETERSON: I mean just, you know, you believe that bad things happen to good people and that’s just what’s happened to you. That’s my only point.
FREY: Well…
PETERSON: You know, another point is you don’t deserve any of this. I mean look what’s happened in the past? Do you see it that way?
FREY: My tests in life are getting harder and harder emotionally for me
(
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I honestly don’t now what the right thing is to do. And it seems like when I think I’m doing the right thing then I find out that it…I’m not and then the heartache. And I don’t know. It seems like when I think I’m doing the right thing it just comes back in my face and…and then I’m like well, I thought I was and then I wasn’t and it’s just frustrating.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I just don’t know what the right think to do is.
PETERSON: Right.
FREY: 1) (pause) Scott, why are you wanting a relationship with me?
PETERSON: Amber, I care about you?
FREY: Define care?
PETERSON: Uh…I worry, hope, and desire to make you happy. I worry about you, I desire to make you happy, I desire to help you if you need it, and I desire to uh…be, you know, something positive in your life like a positive partner, you know. I’d like to…I’d like to share things with you and I think you’re just, you know, splendid for lack of a better word, it’s amazing to learn from you and to learn together and that’s my definition of caring. Thank you for sharing what you feel comfortable with today. Amber?
FREY: Hum.
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PETERSON: Okay, um…get some rest huh, and get well.
FREY: What are you doing today?
PETERSON: I’m gonna…I need to go back to the center to help organize these events. And you just um…if you…if you want to share please call me.
FREY: If I want to share what?
PETERSON: Anything at all. I…I am curious and interested and, you know, just by talking to you. And like I said all these things wrapped up and I really care about you so communication with you is precious to me.
FREY: Is what?
PETERSON: Is precious to me.
FREY: What is?
PETERSON: Communication with you, knowing your feelings. You know, you sharing with me is a beautiful thing to me. So I mean, you know, if you ever want to call please do and um…
FREY: It’s…it’s very one-sided, Scott.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: You don’t share with me.
PETERSON: I…I share my feelings with you.
FREY: You don’t share the truth with me.
PETERSON: Well, that’s the reality of the situation.
FREY: There is no sharing.
PETERSON: And that’s a cold answer, but I’m afraid that’s all we have right now. Would you like me to send you what I was writing and you can tell me if you think it’s foolish?
FREY: What was that?
PETERSON: Would you like me to send you what I was writing even though it may be foolish?
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FREY: Yes.
PETERSON: Okay. It’s typed so you’ll be able to read it.
FREY: Okay.
PETERSON: Please call me, okay, if you want to share anything.
FREY: I’ve been thinking about that a lot.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And I’m drawn between, you know, if we should talk or…or not.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: You know you can’t discuss different things with me that obviously you know are frustrating to me.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And, you know, this is painful for me, Scott.
PETERSON: I know that, Amber.
FREY: You keep saying oh, I can’t discuss these things until there’s resolution.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: Can’t…can’t talk about this right now. I just don’t know. You know, if I’m all these things to you then in time when there’s resolution then, you know, my number will be the same. I don’t think that will change for a long time.
PETERSON: Yeah. Is that where you’d like to leave it?
FREY: Does that make sense to you?
PETERSON: I could understand how it would be easier for you. On the other hand I would…well, I hope by talking with me that it not only benefits me which, you know, obviously it does. It’s like I said communication from you is precious to me, but that it somehow benefits you as well and that would be positive stuff to me. But I want you to know that so…
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FREY: I just want you to…oh, I’m just so lost for words sometimes.
PETERSON: What’s that?
FREY: I said I get so lost for words sometimes.
PETERSON: Yeah, I do too. I do too.
FREY: That…oh, I can’t…
PETERSON: Well, why don’t we do this?
FREY: Hum?
PETERSON: Why don’t we do this, okay?
FREY: What?
PETERSON: Think about…think about what we’re talking now, that if it’s better for you to not speak to me um…and just…I’ll wait for a call and you tell me that or tell me that you think it’s positive, okay?
FREY: That I what?
PETERSON: Just, you know, think about what you want to do regarding that if you want, you know, if you want to speak to me and if it’s at all positive for you or if it’s just a selfish thing because talking to you is precious to me. Um…so I just, you know, let you decide.
FREY: Scott, where I’m at…I…I’m…I’m just so confused and just so at a loss and…(beep)
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And, one of the problems, you know, people I’ve confided in…(beep) say I don’t, you know, why do you even still talk to him?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: (beep) I have to for myself because, you know, I have to try to make sense of all this for myself. And _______(inaudible) (beep, beep, beep) __the answers for me. And because the short time, the time that we spent, I mean it was…it was a good time for me. I felt very…
PETERSON: A good time for all of us.
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FREY: And they say you should be angry because you know, he’s married, he lied and all these things. And yes, I am, I’m very…all of the above. And…and my emotions are just…( ) drawn in so many directions.
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: …that…that uh…I’m at a loss again. Um…( ) I guess it’s just that hope that I have that holds onto that to believe that you’re innocent of all of this. And the other direction I’m drawn that, you know, that you’ve been dishonest with me and that she disappears, you know, on this day and you’re the last to see her and all these things run in my mind there. And, you know, it’s another day or, you know, she doesn’t return with her baby like everybody’s hopes are and that’s she’s found and in some way you’re…all fingers point to you. How am I gonna feel then?
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: I still want to believe that, but it’s hard for me not to, Scott (
PETERSON: That’s sad, Amber.
FREY: Hum?
PETERSON: That’s sad.
FREY: How should I feel? How should I…I…I don’t even know how I should feel.
PETERSON: I don’t think anyone knows, Amber. I don’t think there is one way that you should feel.
FREY: I mean should I 100 percent think or…or that you’re innocent of this? I mean…
PETERSON: I just would hope that you know that. I mean that’s something that you…that you know inside, you know, your spirit soul or whatever term you want to use.
FREY: I already told you the majority of what I feel is that I have a hard time finding your innocence in this, Scott.
PETERSON: Yeah. I hope that’s just defense and rationale as opposed to your true spirit.
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FREY: I mean is this…is this my bad luck, or is this just your bad luck of this all happening?
PETERSON: I don’t know.
FREY: You don’t know?
PETERSON: No.
FREY: I mean is it your punishment for lies that this has happened?
PETERSON: I guess that’s a possibility. I’m sure I deserve some punishment for lying to you. Laci doesn’t deserve any punishment this way. You don’t deserve any punishment. (long pause) Amber?
FREY: Yeah. So this is…I mean that’s…
PETERSON: I understand what you’re saying.
FREY: And I…I’m just so confused that why you still want to hold onto me. I mean all this is going on around you?
PETERSON: I mean I stated that I care about you. And I mean you know where I’m coming from.
FREY: You care…
PETERSON: That’s all I can say. What’s that?
FREY: You care about me, but I mean you don’t love me, you don’t…I mean it just…I don’t understand why you want to hold onto me at this point?
PETERSON: Don’t you have a desire to hold onto the things you care about, the people you care about? Amber, I’m sorry I can’t give you any answers. Just uh…let me say again, Amber, that obviously I care about you and I think you know the truth about me inside. Um…and it’s a gift to share you talk to me. And I just hope that you will, you know, see that it’s appropriate to do so. And um…if you ever want to share please call me, okay?
FREY: Okay.
PETERSON: And I’ll print that thing out and mail it to you.
FREY: Hum?
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PETERSON: And I’ll print that thing out and mail it to you. And I’ll hold hope that you’ll call me.
FREY: I don’t know if I can.
PETERSON: I understand. I understand. But I’ll hold the hope, okay. And I know you don’t want me to call me so I’ll just…I’ll be waiting.
FREY: No, you won’t.
PETERSON: You know I will. You know I look at this phone, how often I look at it to see if there’s a message.
FREY: What?
PETERSON: I look at this phone all too often to see if there’s a message from you. And I welcome any chance, okay?
FREY: I just think it’s probably…I…I think right now probably…I’m just…
PETERSON: If you gonna say it’s better we don’t…just don’t please um…just don’t say it and…and call if you have a mind any different, okay. Do you understand what I’m saying?
FREY: I think that I _____________ (inaudible, mumbling)
PETERSON: I hope you understand what I…do you understand what I’m saying though?
FREY: Okay then like, tomorrow would be a month since I’ve seen you
PETERSON: Yeah. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?
FREY: What’s that?
PETERSON: Amber?
FREY: Don’t Please…
PETERSON: Yeah, just don’t…don’t say it. Just _____ I’ll always hope for your call and I’ll understand if I don’t receive it, but just don’t say that, you know, you won’t, okay?
FREY: _____________(inaudible)
PETERSON: What’s that?
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FREY: _______________
PETERSON: Then may I call you?
FREY: We’ve had this discussion several times now, Scott.
PETERSON: But I feel I always need to ask, Amber.
FREY: Why?
PETERSON: Because I don’t want to…you know, like you said this is painful and I hope that it’s a positive though to talk to me and I just need to know that I’m not causing you more pain.
FREY: No, I think I’m past…past certain pain.
PETERSON: So may I call you?
FREY: ) If you feel there’s any benefit to it?
PETERSON: Is there a benefit there for you?
FREY: I don’t know. I guess it depends on what you have to say.
PETERSON: Okay. Okay, Amber, take care. And I know I’ll talk to you soon.
FREY: And then _____________ (inaudible)
PETERSON: To what?
FREY: Um…__________
PETERSON: I don’t think so.
FREY: You don’t think so?
PETERSON: I don’t know. I mean I…
FREY: Hum?
PETERSON: I don’t now. Do you have the answer to that question?
FREY: No, that’s why I asked.
PETERSON: Okay. I don’t know.
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FREY:
You know, you go down to the
PETERSON: Yeah.
FREY: And you had a perfect marriage. Frustrating to hear, Scott.
PETERSON: I’m sorry, I missed that, say it again?
FREY: I said it’s frustrating to hear.
PETERSON: I know, I know, baby. Get some rest. I’ll talk to you soon, okay.
FREY: All right.
PETERSON: Goodbye.